Secrets
by jandixjunpyo
Summary: After Haitani confesses to Onodera, Takano suspects trouble. THough it means nothing to Onodera, He continues small contact with Haitani. Will Takano's anxieties of Ritsu being taken from him die down? OR is something worse than that coming?
1. Chapter 1: Misunderstanding

**Hey guys, hope you enjoy this story! Please review!** **And this is based off the latest chapter of the manga with Haitani-san. And if you don't know who that is, just know that he is trouble. I'll continue to upload if I get a few good reviews. Please be honest and tell me what you think. I'll be happy to take advice and ideas. Thank you! XD**

Chapter 1: Misunderstanding

Takano sat on his bed, smoking his last cigarette. The lights were off, his clothes were scattered all over the room, and Onodera lay next to him, sleeping soundly. Takano couldn't forget what happened just hours earlier.

 _I'm serious about you!_

Haitani-san was definitely out to steal Ritsu. Maybe not because he was serious about him, but because he wanted revenge. Takano took another drag of is cigarette, and then put it out in the ash tray. He lay down next to Onodera, who looked so peaceful. Takano wrapped his arms around his lover, holding his gently against him,

"I wish you would just tell me you love me already." Takano whispered to Onodera, knowing he wouldn't be awake to hear this. "Onodera, I know I don't own you…but...I.." Onodera's body shifted around. While he mumbled in his sleep, Takano ran his fingers through his hair. "Ritsu…"

Onodera opened his eyes in disbelief.

 _Damn it Ritsu, when are you gonna learn…_

He thought to himself, as he eyed Takano who was lying next to him. Onodera scooted out of bed carefully, trying to get out without waking up Takano. He picked up his shirt that was lying on the floor near the bed. Slipping it on, Onodera buckled up his pants, and tip-toed to the door.

"Where are you going?" Takano sat up and rubbed his eye. Onodera frowned in annoyance, and did a small laugh.

"Oh, you know-a walk. HAHAHAHA…ha…" Takano looked at him expressionless.

"You…are an idiot." Takano stared blankly at Onodera. Onodera felt his face turn bright red. He buttoned up his shirt quickly, turning his head from Takano. Takano stood up from the bed, the blankets falling to the floor. He stretched a little and turned Onodera around to face him. "Where are you going?"

Onodera became flustered, realizing Takano still had no clothes on. "Work!" He opened the bedroom door quickly, and shouted, " AND PUT SOME DAMN CLOTHES ON!"

Onodera walked down the hill, hoping he'd catch the subway on time. He held his bag tightly, and clenched his other fist in anger. "Damn you Takano-san! Damn you!" Onodera shook his head side to side, and bit his lip intensely. He continued his walk, trying to figure out how Takano got him so worked up _._

 _This is not love. No way in hell. It's just…temporary infatuation. Yes, that's what it is. It's just for the moment. I'll be over it in no time._

"Oi, Onodera!" Takano called out to him from behind. Onodera shot a quick look, and then turned back around.

 _Oh hell…I was talking to myself, completely forgetting about Takano-san walking directly behind me!_

Onodera blushed in embarrassment, and face-palmed his head. Takano walked next to him, studying his lover's face. "You sure are jumpy this morning." Takano yawned, and Onodera glanced his way. Onodera opened his mouth to speak, but his phone began to ring. Takano raised an eyebrow, curious as to who it could be.

Onodera took out his cell, and saw the Haitani-san's name appear on the screen. "Uhh, it's just my mom. Haha, I'll just call her back later." Onodera gave a nervous laugh under his breath, and tried to put the phone away. Takano grabbed it, sensing it wasn't his mother.

"Haitani!? ONODERA! Don't you ever listen to me! I told you not to get involved with him!" Takano hung up the call, and gave the phone back to Onodera. "I'm gonna give you double work."

"W-what!? That's harassment!" Onodera shoved the phone in his bag, and glared at Takano. Takano put his hand up to his mouth, and did a small laugh. Onodera stopped walking and stared at him in disbelief.

 _Why…why did he do that? Again…he laughed…again….why…why?!_

Onodera stood shocked, almost ready to pummel Takano. Takano noticed, and put his hands on his shoulders,

"I see, that still gets you every time." Takano did a small smile, and continued to the subway. Onodera thought to himself for a moment,

 _Every time? Every-_

"Damn you Takano-san!" Onodera shouted, and speeded past Takano in a hurry. "This is not love! I'll never fall for you! Takano-san, this is not love! No way! No way in hell is this love!" Takano walked along Onodera, putting his hands in his pockets.

"There you go again, when really you're just admitting that you love me." Takano looked at the blue sky, and smiled inside. "Better get your work done on time today. We have a team meeting tonight." Takano headed down the subway entrance, disappearing into the darkness. Onodera stood for a moment, thinking about the misunderstanding smile Takano gave for the second time in their lives.

 _Could it be…just another misunderstanding on my part?_

* * *

The editing team sat at the table, looking through papers and taking notes. Takano spoke about the newest authors that would be assigned to each of them. Kisa read through his proposals, and Hatori showed Takano the deadlines for this month. Mino sat next to Kisa, and helped his decipher what was wrong. Onodera sat quietly, pretending to read his manuscripts. But his mind was somewhere completely different.

The image of Takano laughing at him ten years ago, and the image of him laughing at him this morning were all too similar. Maybe it meant nothing to Takano, but that very smile is what ruined him ten years ago. That smile, and that laugh…turned him into a jaded person. How could Takano just do it again, and not even apologize for it?

"Onodera."

How could he do it again? How can someone hurt someone so bad, and never say they're sorry?

"Onodera."

How could someone just-

"ONODERA!" Takano whacked him on the head with a paper, snapping him out of his trance. "What the hell is wrong with you!? Were talking about your author here." Onodera shuffled through his papers quickly. All the other watching him in curiosity.

"Hey, Rittchan, what were you thinking about? You look so focused." Kisa smiled, resting his head on his hands. Hatori folded his arms,

"As if he'd tell us."

"Did your girlfriend break up with you?" Mino spoke jokingly, and smiled. Takano lifted an eyebrow, and studied Onodera's face.

"Oh, uh, no-nothing like that. Haha." Onodera shuffled around in his seat, trying to hide his nervousness. Takano sat back in his chair, crossing his legs.

"Then what are you thinking about?" He asked, staring at him in curiosity. The others waited for a reply. Onodera looked into Takano's eyes, sending shivers down his spine.

"N-nothing…let's get back to work."

* * *

Onodera sat alone in the break room. He slouched in his chair, with his arms folded across his chest. He shook his head, and sighed.

Takano walked up to the table, and took a seat across from Onodera. He set down a coffee in front of him, and lit a cigarette. "So, what's wrong? You're too distracted. It's affecting your work." Onodera gave an irritated 'tsk' and turned his head to the side. Takano watched Onodera give him attitude, and blew smoke into his face. "Stop being an idiot." Onodera turned his head back to Takano, his eye twitching.

"Y-you're right….i am an idiot." Onodera spoke through his teeth.

RRRRIIIINNNNGGGGG.

RRRIIINNNGG.

RRRIIINNNNGGG.

"Ah, excuse me." Onodera pulled out his phone, and looked at the contact name. Haitani was calling again.

 _If I answer it, Takano will hear his voice, if I don't, Takano will know it's him. Either way, I'm screwed!_

RIIINNNGG. RRiinnnggg.

 _Wait, why do I need to tell him? Or be afraid? We're not together._

"Hello?" Onodera answered the phone. He stood up from his chair, and left out the door. Takano watched him leave, giving him an odd feeling of anxiety in his stomach.

thanks for reading please review!


	2. Chapter 2: Trouble

Chapter 2: Trouble

"Hello?" Onodera listened for Haitani's voice on the line, hoping the conversation would end soon.

"Hey Onodera-Kun, are you busy tonight?" Haitani spoke fairly loud, with excitement and enthusiasm. Onodera took a light sigh, small enough not to be detected. He had already, technically, rejected Haitani. Though maybe Haitani was only trying to be nice.

"Oh, I'd have to check my schedule. But I'm sure I can. I'll message you when I find out alright?" Onodera brushed his bangs out of his face, waiting for Haitani's response.

"Alright Onodera-Kun! See ya." Onodera sighed again, putting his phone back in his pocket.

"Who was that?" Onodera's guard went up, hearing the familiar voice of Takano. He Turned around, facing him in shades of red.

"N-No One! Just My mother again!" Onodera gave a nervous chuckle. Takano looked at his lover, who obviously was acting, well, suspicious. Takano pulled Onodera's arm, forcing him into a nearby room.

"Liar. Who was that?" Takano stared intensely at Ritsu, prying for an honest answer.

"I-I'm Not Lying!" Onodera tried to push passed Takano, yet was unable to escape. "Besides, why is it any of YOUR business!?" Onodera felt his face flush with nerves, yet angry at Takano for no apparent reason.

Takano watched him for a moment, giving him a serious look of both pain and anger. Onodera felt his body tremble, scared at the expression of complete and utter anger on Takano's face. In all seriousness, Takano pushed Ritsu against the wall, holding him down by his wrists.

"Are you seeing someone-someone like, Haitani?" Takano glared into Ritsu's eyes, extremely determined to find the truth. Onodera felt his stomach turn.

"I told you no! Takano-san, let me pass!" Onodera pushed Takano off of him, but Takano did not take but a second to force him back onto the wall.

"I'll be damned if I see you with some other man!" For the first time, in a long time, Takano took his anger and jealousy out on Onodera. "If I can't…" Takano spoke hesitantly, voice almost wavering in contemplation. Onodera watched him, both scared and irritated. "If I can't have you than nobody can." Takano's eyes seemed to wander to the very depths of Onodera's soul.

… _The irritation…the jealousy…_

Takano's thoughts raced, for he never behaved in such an undignified manner…especially towards Ritsu. Perhaps it was the fact that he knew Ritsu was keeping secrets. Or the fact that maybe, just maybe, his lover will leave him once again. Takano felt like his heart had just been stabbed. He knew Ritsu was hiding, and running. From, God knows what. But the constant irritation and anxiety that crawled within his stomach, only seemed to get worse with the passing minute.

Onodera's eyes widened. The very words that he just heard, were ones he would've never expected from Takano.

"I-I…" Onodera felt his words stutter; At a loss for words, he attempted to push Takano off of him. "Get off of me!" Takano wouldn't move. He kept his hands clenched around Onodera's wrists, Squeezing tighter and tighter. "Ta-Takano-san, You're hurting me!" Ritsu turned his head in fear, still trying to fight off Takano's grasp.

Takano forcefully pressed his lips against Onodera. Onodera tried to turn his face away, left and right, but Takano continued to make his way onto Onodera's lips.

"Takano-san! Stop it!" Onodera pushed Takano off, wiping his lips from the forced contact. "You don't own me! I'm an Adult! I havent confessed to you!" Takano felt his heart drop, though he didn't show it in his face much. Instead, he just grew angrier by the second.

 _The anxiety…it races through me…_

 _Why can't he just admit it already? If he doesn't love me than….NO-He loves me…but then, what the hell is this? What the hell is going on?_

Takano put his hand on his face, forcing back the tears.

 _What am I doing…grabbing him like that…why do I have a bad feeling about something? What the fuck!?_

"Ritsu," Takano spoke lightly, unaware of the tears practically falling from his eyes, "You love me…don't you?" Takano stared at his shoes, to fearful of the answer to look up. Onodera looked at the pain befalling Takano, memories rushing to his head.

 _Sempai…_

… _I love you…._

"Y-Yes…I l-love you…" Ritsu felt a sudden rush of both relief and hurt overcome him. Takano looked up from the floor, staring into his love's big, hypnotizing, luscious green eyes. He had finally confessed, at last, they could be together.

Ritsu nibbled at the inside of his lip, nervous from the look Takano gave him. It wasn't anything new, the same, _I really love you_ face, but every time Takano made that face, Ritsu couldn't resist him.

Takano leaned in, kissing him lightly. "Then please, trust me. Let me be your foundation." Ritsu blushed, and stared into Takano's hazel-like eyes.

 _God damn, he's handsome as hell…_

"Come over tonight." Takano gave a small smile, lightly kissing Ritsu's soft lips. Ritsu looked at the floor, nervousness flowing all through his body.

"O-Okay…" Onodera blushed at the thought, his heart pounding full-throttle. Takano wrapped his arms around Ritsu's waist,

"You know, this means you're stuck with me for good." Onodera looked up in embarrassment. "You confessed." Takano pecked his cheek, and headed towards the door. "Oh, I have a damned meeting tonight, so go on home before me. I'll call you when I'm on my way." Takano left the room, leaving Onodera 50 shades of red.

 _I didn't realize I confessed…but yet, I'm actually happy…_

Onodera straightened out his jacket, shook the racing thoughts from his head, and left back to the office.

* * *

 **8:00pm:**

Onodera packed up his things wearily. He had a hard time keeping his eyes opened. Hell week was official over, and he hadn't gotten a good nights sleep in probably about a week. Let alone a shower in three days.

"EEhhh, Ricchan, Mino, I'm headin' home. See ya Monday." Kisa slugged towards the door, waving a small goodbye to him. Onodera managed to wave back, only thinking of the sweet thought of sleep. You know, what humans are supposed to do at night…Realizing his bed was full of clean, unfolded clothes. And his couch was covered in books.

 _Well, I sleep on the floor anyways…_

Ritsu headed toward the elevator, dragging his feet on the tile. Oh, the precious thought of dropping onto the floor, into a deep slumber. Hell, he'd be happy to just drop dead onto the floor right now. But Takano wouldn't be too happy about that…

 _Oh crap, we have a date…._

 _Wait, did I just say date? Ritsu! Stop it! It's just a visit…well, I did confess….BUT WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE!?_

Ritsu felt his face fluster, by his own damn thoughts. He stepped into the elevator, pushing the '1' button. The elevator moved slowly, it seemed, and Onodera felt his eyes drooping shut occasionally. Then he remembered….

Haitani.

Onodera opened his phone, and began typing:

 _Hey Haitani-san. Sorry I cant make it today. Thank you for the offer. Goodnight._

Pushing the send button, the elevator opened to the lobby. As usual, mostly everyone was gone, except for some of the janitors. It was late. It was Friday. Of course everyone was gone.

BEEP. BEEP.

Onodera opened his phone, and looked at the message from Haitani.

 _That's too bad. Well, maybe next time. Goodnight!_

Onodera closed his phone again, and put it in his bag. He took a sigh, and began walking home.

* * *

 **9:00pm:**

Onodera pushed the button on the elevator several times. But it seemed to be taking forever. Onodera rested his head against the wall, waiting for the doors to open. If he wasn't so exhausted, he'd use the damn stairs.

DIING.

The elevator doors opened, Ritsu stepping into it. When they closed, he pushed his floor button, and waited again.

The doors opened quickly, and Ritsu slugged to his apartment door. He stared at the floor when he walked, not noticing the figure in front of him. One minute he was walking half asleep, and the next moment he was flung onto the ground.

Ritsu held his head, squinting his eyes at Haitani, who held out a hand to help him up.

"E-eh!? Haitani-san! What are you doing here!?" Onodera spoke nervously, knowing that Haitani figured out his lie. Haitani helped him up, and shrugged.

"If you can't come to me, I'll come to you." Haitani smiled brightly, giving Ritsu a nasty feeling of anxiety. Ritsu pulled out his keys, almost trembling from both exhaustion and nervousness.

"W-why?" Ritsu turned the lock on his door, only partially opening it. Haitani continued to smile, and stood quietly for a moment.

"Because I'm serious about you." He pushed opened the door, the darkness creeping into the hall. Ritsu stood in shock, not knowing exactly what to do-or say. Haitani pushed Ritsu inside, slamming the door behind him. Ritsu fell to the floor, only able to watch Haitani stand before him. "I want you to myself." He slammed him hands around Onodera, leaning closer to his face. Ritsu pulled his face away, trying to find something to say.

"I-Haitani-san, i-I um…" Onodera stuttered, still in shock from the words being spoke to him. Haitani grabbed his face, forcing a kiss onto him. Onodera turned his head every which way in panic. "S-stop it! I don't want to!" He pushed Haitani away, and held his mouth. Haitani grabbed Ritsu's jacket collar,

"You know you want it. You can't expect that asshole to love you, do you?" Haitani wore a wicked smile, that sent shivers down Onodera's spine. "I told you, I'm serious about you. I want you to myself." Haitani cupped Onodera's cheek lightly, leaning in for another kiss. Onodera pushed him off,

"NO! This isn't funny Haitani-san!" Onodera began to shout, and Haitani's expression changed quickly. "This isn't a joke! I'm a man—" Haitani swung a hit right on his cheek; Ritsu's cheek instantly pink and swollen.

Ritsu held his cheek in shock, tasting the blood from inside. Haitani did a light chuckle, still holding the collar of his jacket close to him.

"Will you shut up now? Fuck, you talk a lot." Haitani stood up, taking off his shoes and locking the door. Onodera felt tears of fear well up in his eyes; He stood up carefully, backing away from Haitani.

… _Takano-san…_

Haitani stepped further into the apartment, watching Ritsu back away in fear.

 _Where's Takano-san…_

"Come on Onodera-kun, when you make that face, I just can't control myself." Haitani did an evil smirk, cornering Onodera. Onodera felt himself cry subconsciously in fear.

"T-Ta….TAKANO-SAN! TAKANO-SAN!" Ritsu cried in fear, not knowing what else to do. Haitani threw him to the floor, hitting Ritsu consistently. "TAKANO-SAN! HELP!" Ritsu fought to keep himself from getting hit, but Haitani crushed one of his arms with his knee.

"Shut the hell up!" Haitani pulled out a pocket knife from his pants, slicing it deeply against Ritsu's arm. "If you don't shut up, I'll fucking kill you." He covered Onodera's mouth with his hand, and pressed the knife against his neck. "Now, take off your pants."


	3. Chapter 3:Disgrace

**Okay guys, this chapters a little shorter than the rest. But only by a tiny bit! Hope you like it, and please review if you can! Thank you! (and by the way, does anyone else imagine Haitani-san with reddish hair?...OR is that just me…?) o_o**

* * *

Chapter 3: Disgrace

 **10:30 PM:**

Takano exited the elevator, letting out a light yawn. After a long day of meetings and manuscripts, it was nice to know someone would be home waiting for him.

Onodera Ritsu.

He didn't know what it was about Ritsu that made him fall so hard. Maybe it was the luscious green eyes he had, or the fragile heart he bore. Maybe it was his personality that he adored the most. The way he smiled nervously, and denied his own obvious feelings. Maybe it was the loving look he wore every time he truly loved something.

And Onodera Ritsu defiantly, without a doubt, loved Takano Masamune.

Onodera Ritsu.

His complete opposite. He was jaded and pissy, no doubt, but he was defiantly the one and only person who made him smile so. The way he slept, his eyes fluttering. The way he worried, the way he cried, the way he smiled…maybe it was the fire he had glowing in his eyes; such determination.

Yes…

Maybe,

Just maybe-Onodera Ritsu was everything Takano needed. Everything indeed.

Takano pulled out his keys to his car, unlocking it and starting the ignition. Ritsu had finally confessed, finally. And fate had given Takano a second chance at love. He backed out of the driveway, heading home quickly, only to see those lovely face of his beloved Ritsu.

Haitani buttoned his pants up, and stooped down to Onodera, who lay on the floor. Blood. Blood everywhere; the couch, the kitchen counter, the floor, the walls-everywhere. Ritsu hugged his body in shame and pain. And tears helped themselves down his bruised cheeks.

* * *

"Oh come on now Onodera-kun, it was fun." Haitani petted Ritsu's silky brown hair, only for Ritsu to slap his hand violently away. Haitani took his hand back, standing up in disapproval, and threw a strong kick at Ritsu.

Ritsu winced in pain. He held his ribs where Haitani kicked him. "Onodera-kun, you know, I'm a pretty nice guy. But you have pissed me off for the last time." Haitani pulled Ritsu up, gripping his neck tightly between his hands. "I don't think…you understand…the severity of the situation." Haitani tried forcing another kiss, but Ritsu threw his hand across his face in a fist, tackling Haitani down.

Haitani laughed inside, discreetly pulling out the knife from his pocket. Ritsu threw his fist at Haitani, aiming everywhere and no where. The light tears fell to angry ones. He hated him. He hated Haitani. He's ruined everything. How could he EVER face Takano now? How could he ever be with him without being ashamed of what's happened? How? Takano would leave him, he would _hate_ him.

' _You're just gross!'_

Those words…He'd hear those words for the second time…from the man he loved…

 _Pain…a sharp pain…._

 _Pain…the piercing in my side…a dream? No, no- this-this is real…I've been stabbed…_

Haitani shoved the knife into Ritsu's side. Throwing him onto a wall. "You little shit! I Told you enough!" Haitani ripped the knife out of Ritsu, tossing it down. He grabbed Ritsu's hair, and slamming his head repeatedly against the wall.

 _Ta…Taka….Takano-san…_

 _Am i…..…gonna die…_

 _Is this….._

…

…

 _.._

 _The end?..._

Haitani let go of the bloody Ritsu, dropping him to the floor. He picked up his knife, and licked his hand, covered in Ritsu's gushing blood. "You're better than drugs Onodera-kun. No wonder Takano-san wants you so bad." Haitani wiped his face, and opened his mouth to speak.

RRRIIINNNGG. RRRIIINNNGGG.

Haitani looked over at Ritsu's phone ringing in the hallway. He picked it up, smiling at the contact. "I'll even let you answer it." He did a wry smile, answering the phone. "Don't you dare say anything unnecessary." He whispered, lying the phone directly in front of the dying Ritsu.

Ritsu struggled as he reached for the phone. His body trembled at the pain. His throat hurt from the screaming and choking.

"Hello? Ritsu? Hello?!" Takano yelled on the line, anxiety building up. "Ritsu!?" Onodera held the phone weakly, watching the grin on Haitani's face grow wider and wider. He said something into the phone, almost inaudible.

"What?! I CAN'T HEAR YOU SPEAK UP DAMNIT!" Takano felt something was off once again. The anxiety, the _irritation_ , the urge to race home faster than he already was. "Ritsu!" Haitani took the phone before Ritsu could answer it, shutting it off abruptly.

"It's our little secret kay?" Haitani pulled Ritsu's chin, giving one last kiss before leaving the bloody apartment.

* * *

 **10:40 pm:**

Takano raced to the elevator impatiently. Pressing his floor number several times.

 _Something's wrong…way wrong.._

 _Ritsu, please be okay._

 _Please let me be wrong, just this once._

DING.

The elevator doors opened, and Takano rushing out the moment they parted. He raced towards his lover's door, and stopped, paralyzed in fear.

 _Ritsu would never…would he? No…never once has he ever..._

 _Has he?_

Takano studied the half-opened door. Only darkness peering inside. Takano shivered at the odd situation. He closed his eyes, hoping that when he opened them, it was just a sleeping Ritsu at the foot of the door. That he was just extremely tired, and passed out without closing the door.

He pushed the door opened slowly, peaking one eye opened.

No Ritsu.

Takano peered in, turning on the lights as he stepped in. His shoes were there-in an odd way. He took off his shoes, and set down his work bad by the door.

 _He's here, telling by his shoes…but where the hell is he?_

"Oi, Onodera!" Takano called out, and walked down the hall. Everything was dark. Maybe he really was sleeping, and he was just over-reacting. "Onodera?" He turned on the living room light, immediately panicking at the sight of blood scattered all over the room.

"Ritsu! Ritsu, Where are you!?" Takano turned his head, only to see Ritsu lying on the floor, panting heavily, and completely covered in blood and bruises.

 _No.._

 _NO! This is a dream. This is happening. This is a nightmare again.._

He ran to him, dropping to his knees. A rush of fear and anger flashed through him all at once. "Ritsu! Oh god, no. Ritsu!" Takano, scared as hell, pulled out his phone, dialing the emergency hotline.

"T-takano-san…"Ritsu strained to see his beloved screaming in agony. He yelled at the operator, screaming an address and numbers. Ritsu felt his eyes closing slowly. His heart was racing. His body ached. He mind was filled with different memories flashing threw all at once.

' _Senpai, W-were going out, right?...'_

' _Hmm?'_

' _It's just that…you never say anything…'_

'…'

' _Ah, um…Senpai?….h-how do you feel about me?'_

"Ritsu! Ritsu! Please!" Takano held his hand, clenching it tightly in deep fear. The lifelessness in Ritsu's eyes shattered his heart, and awoken his deepest fears.

Ritsu watched him, like he saw him from the outside-as if he were already dead-Watching himself die.

' _Sempai..'_

"Ritsu! PLEASE! DON'T GO! DON'T LEAVE ME BY MYSELF AGAIN! RITSU! RISTU!"

'… _pleases fall in love with me…'_


	4. Chapter 4:Try

**HEY GUYS! Thanks for the reviews and support! Hope you keep reading and Reviewing! I went to bed after posting the 3** **rd** **chapter and had an awesome idea for the next one! Here it is! I have been trying to get this perfect! Please enjoy! XD (Btw, this is gonna be a mix of Ritsu's pov and in third person.)**

* * *

Chapter 4: Try

 **11:00 pm:**

The paramedics rushed Ritsu's gurney into the ER, Takano following right behind them in absolute madness. He couldn't breathe, couldn't think. At least not about anything but Ritsu. He tried to follow his beloved into the room, but a paramedic stopped him.

"I'm sorry sir, he's in very critical condition right now. You may not be able to see him for a while." Takano watched them rush him behind closed doors. The very sight made his face pale, and feel nauseated.

"But-But…" Takano bit his lip, holding back the tears that were forcing their way out faster than he wanted them to. "I Have to see him! I have to be there! I have to make sure he's okay! I have to!" Takano felt his voice rising, and his pulse race. The Paramedic placed a hand on his shoulder, easing him into a calming state.

"Someone will inform you the update as soon as we can. Until then." The man hurried behind the closed doors. Leaving Takano uneasy in the waiting room.

* * *

 **2:30 am:**

Takano constantly stood and paced, than sat back down. Three and a half hours, and nothing. Nothing what-so-ever. No doctors, no nurses, no one. Takano took a seat once again, biting his finger in desperation for an answer. And hope. Just a small speck of it. That was enough. If he had the slightest chance, it was okay. As long as Ritsu's heart kept beating, even if it took him weeks to wake up, even if the only way to save him was dying himself, it was enough.

 _Oh Ritsu…_

"Is there anyone here for an Onodera Ritsu? Onodera Ritsu?" Takano shot up from his seat at once, rushing to the nurse that came.

"How is he? Is he okay? Will he live?" Takano blurted out question one after the other, unable to stop himself.

"Sir, Please relax. I cannot tell you anything until you calm yourself." She held a hand up, and waiting for him to relax. Takano sighed, and straightened out his jacket.

 _How could anyone be calm in a situation like this?_

"He's alive. But he's still in a critical condition. He's suffered a large loss of blood, and severe stab wound, and-" The nurse stopped, looking down at her shoes. Takano held his breathe subconsciously, part of him wanting her to spit it out, and the other part not wanting to know. "It appears…that your friend…has been raped."

Takano's heart stopped. Eyes widening, he forced his sobs back and place a hand over his mouth. In a low voice, Takano asked, "C-can I…see him?" The nurse nodded, and lead him down a maze of halls.

She stopped in front of a patient door, gesturing to it. "He's in here. He's still sleeping, but if he wakes up, please push the nurse button above the bed. Though, it's not expected for him to wake up for a few hours." Takano nodded in understanding, and the nurse left. He stood outside for what felt like a long time. He hoped that this was all just a dream. Just a nightmare…and he'd wake up and see little Ritsu lying next to him in bed.

But it wasn't a dream. This was reality. And as much as he didn't like it, it was happening.

He opened the door quietly, and stepped into a dim lit room. He could see Ritsu's body; the curtain covered his face from the angle he stood. He stepped lightly to Ritsu's bed, and took hold of his hand. He studied Ritsu lying on the hospital bed, Iv's in his arms, bandages around the forearm, and one on the right side of his forehead. The bruises on his body looked black and blue, swollen and almost sickening. His eye had a blue colored bruise underneath it, and his lip was busted open. Takano's heart stopped just seeing the dreadful sight of his injured lover.

Takano held Ritsu's hand tightly, covering his mouth with his free hand. A drop fell onto his jeans. He looked at it, confused at the drops falling onto them repeatedly. They were inside, it couldn't be raining...he felt a stream of tears run down his face…

 _I'm crying…_

Takano tried to hold back the strong urge to break down, but it was helpless. The tears forced their way out.

"Ritsu…please…"Takano felt the sobs getting stronger as he began. "Ritsu, please try. I know that…I know I can be a jerk, but- Ritsu, please. You can't, you cant. You hear me!?" He wiped the tears from his face, only for them to fall back down. "You can't leave me. Not again…" He paused, swallowing the urging sob. "I'll never forgive you if you do. If you leave again, I won't be able to get back up… Ritsu…Ritsu! Please!" Takano clenched a fist on his thigh, and held up his lover's hand. He kissed it lightly, and held it to his heart.

"I know I can be selfish. I know I have hurt you before.." Takano stopped, choking on the lump forming in his throat. He clenched his fist tighter, and looked at Ritsu's face in pain. "I love you Ritsu, please. I need you…I'd never say it aloud, but all those years, I cried every night, hoping it was a dream. I promise. I promise next time…next time I'll be there! I'll protect you." The heart monitor starting to beep quickly. Takano looked up at it, panicking at the sight. He pushed the button several times, and two nurses came rushing in. Takano watched helplessly, as he eventually was pushed to the side of the room. A doctor rush into the room, which didn't help his rising anxiety. Takano paced back and forth, pulling the sides of his hair. He crouched down near the door, tears pouring out in blame.

"Ritsu please…"

* * *

 _The room is dark. And only the light from the mirror in front of me is shining._

 _I can see me._

 _I can see myself in the mirror…But that's not me. That Ritsu's dead. He's been dead for years._

 _The mirror has a perfect shine to it. No cracks, no scratches. The ideal picture of perfection._

 _I can see me…But that's not me._

 _I'm dead._

"Ritsu! Ritsu please!"

 _The cries of people that I love…calling out for me. Crying for me._

"Ritsu, please try…please.."

 _Another silent plead; ringing in my ears. It's so close…but so far away. I can hear him, but I don't recall that voice..._

 _Ritsu's stares at me. Pleading in desperation with his eyes. I put my hands on the mirror, Ritsu mimicking my every move. He watches me intensely, as I turned away in disgust. But his eyes did not falter. They only watched me._

" _I Need you.."_

 _I turn my head every which way, trying to find where the voice is coming from._

' _It's Takano-san…I can hear him!' I looked back at the mirror, but when I turned back around it was shattered in half. The mirror was now in a million pieces. Ritsu was gone. I tried to take a step to get a closer look, but stopped when I felt a piercing pain in my foot._

 _Glass, everywhere around me. An endless amount of shattered mirror scattered around. I looked up at the half of the mirror still hanging._

' _S-Saga-Senpai!' I stared into the mirror, reaching out my hand to him. 'Sa-I mean- Takano-san. Where am i? Where are you!?'_

 _He said nothing, he just stared at me in anger._

" _Next time…" The voice was there again. The voice that continued to echo throughout the darkness._

' _I'm not Takano-san.' Saga watched me, and I could feel the glare creep over my body. I felt my heart race in fear. 'Do you want to die?' My stomach turned, startled at the question._

 _Did I want to die? Is that why I'm…here?..._

' _Where am i?!' I shouted at Saga in the mirror, who only seemed to grow angrier. He closed his eyes,_

' _If you die,'_

 _Saga looked back up at me and spoke in unison with another voice, "I'LL NEVER FORGIVE YOU!"_

Ritsu's eyes shot opened. Startling the nurses and doctor. "He's awake!" One of the nurses said in shock. Takano shot up from the corner of the room, rushing to his lover's bedside.

"Ritsu! You're okay!" Takano wiped the tears from his face, smiling at him. Ritsu looked around the room surrounded with people. Takano cupped Ritsu's cheek softly, only able to smile at him.

"Ta-Takano-san.." He spoke wearily.

"Yes Ritsu?" Takano watched in happiness, as his lover turned his beautiful emerald eyes to face him.

"Even in my dreams you're an ass." Takano felt an overwhelming happiness fill his heart. And all he could do was smile at him.

"I love you Ritsu, please don't scare me like that." Takano gave him a light hug, trying not to hurt his body anymore than it already was. The nurses exited the room, leaving only the doctor left to watch them.

"You're a lucky man Onodera Ritsu. Very lucky." Takano and Ritsu looked at each other, than back at the doctor.

"Lucky?" Ritsu asked, furrowing his brows.

"Yes, if it wasn't for this man here, you would be dead." Ritsu looked back at Takano, who was already watching him with his mysterious, golden eyes. Ritsu's face turned away, flustered.

"Well, I'd advise you not to push passed your limits. Make sure you are very careful with your body. Don't do anything physical for at least a month. No stress." The doctor gave Ritsu a smile, "You can go home in a few days if your body is alright." The doctor turned towards the door, then stopped when he noticed the look on Ritsu's face. Ritsu bit the inside of his lip, already thinking about all the things he'd have to make up at work.

"Do you live alone?" The doctor took a few steps towards the bed, and Takano looked at him in concern. "I'd advise you to stay with family or friends, at least for a few weeks. There's no way you can manage on your own." The doctor looked at Takano, who was already giving Ritsu the look of victory.

"N-No Way!" Ritsu frowned, giving the doctor a pleading look.

"Sorry, Onodera, looks like you have to be under my watch for the next month." Takano crossed his arms, smiling inside. Ritsu's frown only grew, causing him to slouch back into bed.

"F-Fine.." He mumbled, crossing his own arms around his chest. The doctor chuckled, and left the room. Takano took his lover's hand once again, brushing it against his lips.

"I'm so glad.." He spoke in a hushed tone, and kissed Ritsu's hand once more.

"W-what?" Ritsu's heart pounded, nervous at the action of his boss. Takano opened his mouth to speak,

"You-"

"RITSU!" A chestnut-haired woman came barging into the room, "OH MY GOD! WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED!?" Ritsu pulled his hand away from Takano, who watched wide-eyed; assuming this loud and obnoxious woman was his mother.

A man came in from behind her, clearing his throat for attention. "Ritsu, what happened here?" Takano sat silently, and gave Ritsu a look.

The room fell silent.

"I…I'd rather not talk about it…" Ritsu mumbled, and clenched the white blanket in his hands. Takano assumed that his parents knew what he knew. Ritsu definitely didn't know that he knew-and now wasn't the time to break it to him.

"Ritsu! How can you keep these secrets!? Who in the hell would did _this_ to you!?" She pointed at him furiously, angered at how her son held no empathy. "Do you know how scary this is?! To hear that you're only child is in the hospital?! NO! You don't know! And you won't know until you have a child of your own!"

Ritsu's heart began to race again, and the heart monitor began to beat quickly. Takano felt himself panic, knowing the doctor just stated 'no stress.'

"I'm not a child Damn it!" Everyone turned to look at him, watching both the heart monitor and him. "Get out! Just get out! I don't want to see you!" Ritsu sat up, practically screaming at his mother to leave. Takano lay him back down, knowing that his stab wound would reopen if this continued.

"Onodera." Takano spoke softly, but Ritsu continued his rant.

"You don't know what happened! And I won't ever tell you!" His parents watched in horror, and Takano tried to calm him again.

"Onodera."

"I Can't stand you sometimes! You're just-"

"RITSU!" Takano took his lover's hand, gently holding it down. "That's enough." Ritsu's parents watched in confusion and frustration. Ritsu felt a tear slide down his cheek.

 _I'll never tell him…I'll never tell him, that I…_

"Fine. Call us when you're ready to apologize!" His mother stormed out of the room, slamming the door shut. Ritsu's father gave him an odd look, and he too exited. Takano watched Ritsu cover his mouth in small, sobs.

"Ritsu.." Takano put his hand lightly on Ritsu's chin, causing their eyes to meet. He stared into Ritsu's emerald eyes, full of despair. He leaned in, pressing his lips onto his beloved's.

 _...Love him.._

* * *

 **Okay! See guys!? Ritsu didn't die! Holy shit! Everyone's getting all worked up for nothing….or are they? Guess we'll find out next time! XD 3**


	5. Chapter 5:A Barrage of Questions

**Thanks for the awesome reviews guys! Sorry the doctors always seem to be male, I just totally spaced when I wrote down his character. It was kinda the spur of the moment….any who…Here's the next chapter! Thanks for your support! X3 Oh and btw-there are A LOT of hints of foreshadowing in here! Please keep that in mind!**

* * *

Chapter 5: A Barrage of Questions

 **8:00 am:**

The morning light had finally drifted it's way into the room. The white curtains blew calmly from the window, letting in a small breeze fill the room. Ritsu opened his eyes sleepily, and let out a small yawn. He turned to see Takano lying in the chair next to him, manuscripts and papers resting on his lap. Ritsu watched him for a moment, remembering the first time he ever saw him sleeping so peacefully.

' _Sempai, please fall in love with me..'_

Ritsu reached his hand out hesitantly, lighting brushing his fingers through Takano's hair.

"Takano-san..." He mumbled under his breath, blushing at the thought of the past. "Please forgive me." Takano shifted in the chair, causing some of the papers on his lap to scatter onto the floor. Ritsu took his hand away.

Takano groaned, and opened his eyes to the morning light. He turned to the _pretending-to-be-asleep_ Ritsu, and felt his silky hair caress his fingertips. "Forgive you for what?" He asked in confusion. Ritsu turned 50 shades of red, and shut his eyes tightly.

 _I could've sworn that bastard was sleeping…._

"Wh-what are you talking about?" Ritsu's voice shook, "I just woke up, I haven't spoken at all." Takano raised an eyebrow in curiosity, then shrugged.

"Well, whatever it is," He stood, "I forgive you." Ritsu's heart skipped a beat, and in all nervousness, he wiggled underneath the blanket. Takano chuckled, and stretched. Picking up the papers, Takano yawned and placed them into his bag. "I need coffee. I'll be right back. Try not to die while im gone." Ritsu popped his out from the blanket, massively red, and argued,

"I won't die! Besides, you can leave! I don't even need you here!" Takano did a small smile to himself as he headed towards the door.

"That sounds nice and all but…you already confessed. So I don't believe you when you say that." Takano flashed him a victory smile, and headed out the door. Ritsu sat up on the bed, in disbelief that he had already confessed.

 _I don't remember confessing…..wait….I-Oh shit…_

… _I did…_

Ritsu hit the mattress, and scolded himself for forgetting about the incident at work. Ritsu lay back in bed, and ran his hand over his busted lip. He had gotten so worked up, he forgot that he had just suffered a flash of death.

 _Yes that's right….Haitani-san…_

 _He did this to me…_

Ritsu felt the side of his head, remembering the pain that came along with it. Just as his thoughts had finally gathered, the door opened, and in came An-chan.

"Ricchan!" She gasped at the sight of him, tears already welling up in her eyes. "Oh Ricchan, im so sorry I didn't get here earlier! I rushed over here from France!" An-chan to the liberty to sit down in the chair Takano was in just a few minutes prior.

"An-chan…um…it's okay. Please don't cry." Ritsu sat up once again, holding the side of his body in slight pain. "Thank you for worrying. But I'm alright, really." An-chan gave him a hug, holding him in her arms for a long time. He could hear the light sobs she tried to hold back.

"Oh Ricchan. I was so worried when they called and said you were in the hospital." She let go of him, and took hold of his hand. "I'm so glad you're okay." She tightly squeezed his hand, and forced out a smile. "I love you so much Ricchan," She started with this again, which made Ritsu extremely uncomfortable. "I thought I had lost you.."

Ritsu watched her cry as she held his hand. He didn't know what to say-what to do. _How do you even comfort someone in her positon._ He just sat silently, just hoping she would stop somehow. An-chan placed her hand on his cheek, gently caressing his soft skin on the palm of her hand. She stared into the depths of his eyes, almost trying to figure him out.

Ritsu did his best to avoid her desiring gaze. "Um…An-chan….why are you…looking at me like that…?" Ritsu gave a sheepish laugh. An-chan said nothing, only watched him in sadness.

Takano stood in the doorway, watching An-chan desire what was his. "Ricchan…I…is there any chance…" She mumbled, and looked down. Ritsu watched her in confusion, hoping she would stop this. Hoping that she would forget about him and move on.

"An-chan, I.." Ritsu took her hand off of his cheek, trying to find words to stop her from only hurting herself more. "I-"

"IS THERE ANY CHANCE YOU'LL CHOOSE ME!?" She blurted out, standing abruptly from the chair. Ritsu felt his heart sink. For he knew that she loved him, truly, he did….But…there was no way-no possible way-for him to love her the same.

He looked down silently, biting the inside of his cheek. Takano hid and watched silently, eager to know the answer. An-chan's head was bowed in silence, a deafening silence.

"I can't. I know you want me to…but…I just…" His voice trailed off, lingering it's way into the silence. An-chan raised her head in determination.

She took his hands in hers, as a silent plea. Ritsu could only watch as she gave him a small, yet passionate kiss.

Takano stepped in, holding back the overwhelming jealousy within him. Ritsu pushed An-chan off, blushing in mortification. Takano said nothing, only sat down near the window. Ritsu knew he'd get it later, and An-chan gave him a look of anger.

"Well, I'll be checking in on you. Because I know that I'm the only one who can do it…far better than anyone else.." An-chan and Takano's eyes met, both displaying anger and competition. An-chan did a quick bow, and scurried out of the room. Takano smiled at Ritsu, but not with his eyes.

* * *

 **9:00am:**

A woman came in with a clipboard and stood at the end of the bed. "Onodera Ritsu." She looked up, acknowledging his presence, and pulled out a pen from the pocket of her white jacket. "I'm doctor Nara-san. I'll be your doctor for a little while. I have a few questions to ask you." Ritsu sat up carefully, and nodded in approval. "First question, do you know your name?"

"Onodera Ritsu." He spoke, almost confused at the odd question. She scribbled something down on the clipboard, and spoke again.

"How old are you?"

"26"

"Who are your parents?"

"Sakura Onodera and Soichiro Onodera."

"Do you have a job?"

"Yes."

"Where do you work?"

"Emerald Editing Department."

"Hmm, I See. And do you have a wife or children?"

"N-no." Ritsu blushed at the question of wife and children. Honestly, he knew he'd never have them…because of the way he was…The doctor nodded, and rested the clipboard under her arm.

"And one more thing," She asked, coming closer to the bedside. "Do you know who did this to you?" Ritsu looked at her serious face, and could only bring himself to say,

"I don't remember.." Takano looked at him, wondering if he really didn't know. Nara pulled out her clipboard from underneath her arm, and wrote on it again.

"Then if you don't remember, I have to ask, if you remember anything during the day. Do you know what time you left work?" Ritsu glanced at her, than at Takano.

"I left at…maybe 8…" Ritsu rubbed his forearm, nervously glancing around the room. Takano observed him closely, as did Nara.

"What did you do on your way home?" She took note of his face, she and Takano waited patiently for an answer.

"I…I don't know…I assume I just went home…" Ritsu's voice shook, scared of the oncoming questions that he didn't want to answer. The doctor walked around the room, thinking to her self for a brief moment.

"Do you remember anything between the time you came home and the time you woke up here?"

"N-no…" Ritsu held onto the blanket, feeling frustrated inside. Nara watched him closely, and spoke yet again.

"Sir," She turned to Takano, "May i know your relation to this young man?" Ritsu blushed, and turned to him, hoping he wouldn't say _it._

"I'm his boss and neighbor." Takano's arms were crossed around his chest, and he looked slightly irritated.

"The nurses stated that you were the one who brought him here."

"Yes, I found him lying almost unconscious in his apartment."

"Well then. May I have a word with you?" She gestured towards the door, and they both stepped out to the hall. She closed the room door, and spoke carefully. "I am not certain, but, I think he's suffering from a very mild amnesia. Either that or he doesn't want to remember." Takano said nothing, he only listened and watched as she bit the tip of her thumb in thought.

"I assume you know what's happened, yes?" Takano nodded, and slid his hands in his pockets. "Well, I think we should give him some pain medication that he must take twice a day. And make sure that whoever he stays with, asks him questions every once in a while. Whether it's about the incident or simple questions such as his birthday, or his pet's name, that's fine too. If he has mild amnesia, it would be best to let it come to him on its own."

"He'll be staying with me. I'll be sure to take note of that." The doctor nodded, and opened the room door.

"Oh, and I'll leave you instructions to maintain his health." Takano nodded once again, both of them stepping back into the room. "Onodera-kun, you may go home today. But make sure you do everything to maintain your health. You body is in a fragile state. I'll be giving you pain medication that you must take twice a day. But there are side-effects. Be sure to look at them." Ritsu said nothing, only gave a small nod. Nara gave him a smile, and rested her hand on the bed railing. "If anything feels out of place, make sure you come back."

"Ah, um, Okay." Ritsu and Takano watched the Doctor take her leave. Takano turned to Ritsu,

"You're a terrible liar."

"W-What!?" Ritsu knew exactly what he meant, he remembered everything. Everything….and it was killing him. He wanted to tell Takano, but how could he face him? How could he hope that he would still love him after hearing the truth? That would be selfish…very selfish indeed.

* * *

 **9:30am:**

A nurse came in with a tray of food, and set it down in front of Ritsu. "Onodera-kun, I've brought your breakfast. I'll be giving you a new IV, once you finish it, you can leave." She smiled, as she changed the IV bag hanging from the stand. When she finished, she bowed and exited the room without another word.

Takano watched Ritsu, who didn't seem to touch his food. It had been a few minutes, and still he only stared at it.

"Are you gonna let it get cold?" Takano looked at him in annoyance, and Ritsu turned to him for a comeback.

"I am not hungry!" He growled, turning his head quickly away. Takano stood, and picked up the chopsticks that lay on the tray. He picked up the bowl of rice, and picked some of it up with the chopsticks.

"Onodera, open wide." He teased, holding the rice to Ritsu's face.

"N-No! I told-hmpff!" Takano shoved the rice into Ritsu's mouth, cutting his childish bickering off. "Takano-san! Hmpff, hmm." Takano shoved yet more rice into his mouth.

"If you weren't such a child, I wouldn't have to do this." Takano spoke playfully, setting down the rice bowl and chopsticks. Ritsu felt his face heat up, and glared at Takano. Takano wiped Ritsu's face with his hand, taking off the left over rice on it. Ritsu turned even more flustered as Takano licked it off of his hand. "Yum." He said it so formally, as if nothing happened. Ritsu turned his head, both annoyed and nervous.

 _This bastard._

* * *

 **I usually don't post back to back, but it's the weekend! What can I say? X3 Please continue to review! It motivates me! XD 3 Thanks for reading! Until next time! \\(^.^) Deuces!**


	6. Chapter 6: Hidden Code

**Here's the next chapter of Secrets! I took a lot of inspiration to write this! I thank you for your support and reviewing! Now takano and Ritsu will tell you all something very important…**

 **Ritsu: What….?**

 **Takano: Baka, she's means that crap you have to do when you write fanfiction.**

 **Ritsu: Psh, I knew that! She doesn't own Sekaiichi Hatsukoi or the characters!**

 **Takano: Yea-but I own you ;p**

 **Ritsu: Takano-san!**

* * *

Chapter 6: Message

The ride home was silent. Not an awkward silent, just silent. Takano focused on the road, and Ritsu stared out the window. And in a way, it was peaceful. Takano glanced at Ritsu from the corner of is eye, thinking about what the nurse said a few hour back.

' _Your friend has been raped.'_

The very thought made his blood curl. The pain and anger that came with it were destructive. He could only imagine the pain Ritsu felt, IF he even remember. The thought began to progress even further, when he realized-deep down-someone had not only tried to kill his beloved, but they forced themselves on him...

And then there was _that_ possibility….

Ritsu turned to Takano suddenly, deciding to break the silence. "Takano-san…" He gave him a quick look from the road, acknowledging that he heard.

"Yes?"

"Hmm…n-never mind…" His voice trailed off, and though Takano yearned to know the brunette's question, they continued home in silence.

Takano parked the car, and took the keys out of the ignition. Ritsu unbuckled, and stepped out of the car carefully. Despite the Ritsu's protests, Takano helped the younger male to the elevator.

"Onodera," Takano's eyes averted his way, and Ritsu looked up from the ground. "Do you remember who did this to you?" Ritsu's eyes widened-which Takano clearly noted in his head-and he fidgeted with his jacket uncomfortably.

"N-no." was all he managed out before the elevator made a loud 'DING.' Ritsu rushed over to his apartment door, Takano not far behind him. Ritsu put his hand on the knob, but didn't try to open it. Takano watched closely, as Ritsu stood before his home door with his head down.

"Onodera…"Takano reached out gently, pulling Ritsu into a warm embrace. "It's okay." He whispered in almost an inaudible voice. Ritsu clenched onto Takano's shirt for a moment, then pushed away slowly. He lifted his head, and smiled.

"I'm okay. I just realized that all my clothes are in there…" Ritsu tucked some hair behind his ear, and chuckled under his breath. Takano could only stare in sadness. He didn't protect him, and he ended getting hurt. Takano pulled out his keys, and opened the door.

"Go inside, and get some rest. I'll be right there." Ritsu gave a confused look,

"W-where are y-you going…?" He held the collar of his jacket between his hand, watching Takano like a child. Takano felt a small smile form on his lips, and kissed Ritsu softly on the forehead.

"I promise I'll only be a minute." Ritsu felt a light blush cross his face, and went inside Takano's apartment. Takano closed the front door, and unlocked Onodera's apartment door with the spare key he secretly made a few months back.

He turned on the hallway light, and didn't bother to take off his shoes. There were numbers on the floor, and chalk marks around the areas with the most blood.

 _They must have began the investigation already…_

Takano took a moment to imagine the incident in action…which only killed his mood even more. He opened the room door, and picked up an empty bag on the floor. He placed several pairs of shirts and pants in it. Looking around the room, he thought of what else he would need to take over.

Takano noticed Ritsu's wallet sitting on the drawer next to his bed. Not that he'd need it…but taking it wouldn't hurt. Scanning the room one last time, Takano found nothing of importance to take. Heading out into the living, he was careful not to touch any of the investigation items.

He stared at the one spot that seemed to absorb all of his attention…where he had found Ritsu lying half dead. The blood stained the floor, the walls…there was even some on the furniture and counters. Takano turned to leave, when he noticed Ritsu's phone lying on the floor.

Picking it up, he noticed the messages on the home screen. Curious to open them, he noticed the number was an unknown and an untraceable number. There were three messages from the number. He set down Ritsu's bag and opened the first one.

 _hey, that was fun. Let's dO_ it _agaiN somE time. But remember, all good things to those WhO wait._

Takano sneered at this, and opened the next one:

 _love is a game. yes, love is insane. Vengeance is cruel, and beautiful too. I told you I'm seRious about you._

For some reason, the last part of the sentence brought back an awful voice in his head, yet couldn't find a part of his brain to remember who's it was. When he opened the last one, he felt his heart race, for he noticed something that brought all of them together.

 _i know it's a bother. but I'm an aDmirer. one look At you aNd I'm a goner. I know why he loves you, but it's a selfish Desire. think I'm done? Not in the slightest. Keep YOUR eyes open, keep your Doors lock. I have a new prOposal for you. I'll see you 'rouNd thE clock._

Takano ran to flip the switch for the lights, and pulled out a pen. He searched for a paper, a napkin, anything, but with no luck, he wrote down letters on his hand.

"O…..N…..E…one? W, O….next section, R…last one…D. A ,N…D. YOUR D…O….N,E." Takano stared at the letters, and put them together in his head.

"One. So first word is one. W, O, R and D, spells word. So 'one word.' A, N, D. -and your done. 'one word and your done….." Takano stared at the message now written on his arm. He felt hot and sweaty all of a sudden; a suddenly sickening feeling overwhelmed his stomach...

 _Had Ritsu seen these messages? No- he couldn't have- they weren't even opened yet. Someone's trying to kill Ritsu…_

Takano heard a loud shatter next door, which startled him out of his thought. Takano shoved the phone in his pocket, picked up the bag and bolted out the door.

Ritsu sat on the kitchen floor speechless. He looked like he was about to cry. He didn't notice Takano heading in his direction.

"Oh no," He mumbled, "Takano-sans gonna be mad at me…" Ritsu used his hands to gather the pieces of broken glass into a pile in front of him. Takano watched him in irritation, then called him out.

"Onodera, what the hell happened?!" Takano picked Ritsu up off the floor, and carried him to the couch. Ritsu looked down in silence, waiting for the lecture that was coming.

"I-I dropped your c-cup… I wanted a glass of water…and It fell…" Ritsu rested his fists on his thighs, clenching them tightly. Takano rolled his eyes and sighed.

"Ritsu, I don't give a damn about the cup." He placed his hand on Ritsu's chin, giving him a light kiss on the lips. Ritsu continued to make a sad face, and Takano set down the bag in front of him. "Here's your clothes and wallet." Takano went to the kitchen and swept the glass away. He watched Ritsu from the corner of his eye, making sure he wasn't about to have another dramatic moment.

 _Sometimes, he's just so helpless._

Ritsu blushed to himself, and stared at the bag. He shuffled through it, and smiled at the consideration Takano had for him. They were, after all, dating at this point-though he still felt like it was a dream. But in deep secrecy, he was scared. Scared to die…scared to live…He knew Haitani would be back…and he knew if he didn't tell Takano the truth, it could only cause more problems.

Takano came back to the couch, holding a glass of water and two pills in his hand. "Here. It's time for your medication." Ritsu looked up at him, suddenly despising the thought of pills.

"I'm-I'm fine! I don't need them!" Ritsu stood up, and try to go for the door. Takano pulled him back, and forced him on the couch.

"Take it!" He gave him an irritated look, and Ritsu gave him just as much annoyance back.

"No! I don't wanna take them!" Takano felt a vein pop out of his neck,

 _Patience is a virtue. Patience…patience._

"Damn it! Take the pill!"

"No!"

"YES!"

"NO!"

"Fine." Takano got up from the couch, and set down the water and pills on the table. Ritsu, confused as hell, raised an eyebrow at how easy that turned out to be.

"Huh?"

"Well, if you wanna be in pain later on, then go ahead. Be my guest." Takano rose from the couch, and headed to the kitchen. He looked at his hand, that had the letters on it. He sighed quietly, and turned to see Ritsu taking the pills.

 _That's why I smile…_

Ritsu stood and put the glass in the sink. "There! Happy?" Takano smiled, and gave Ritsu a hug. Ritsu was hesitant, but he hugged him back. When Ritsu pulled away, he noticed the markings on Takano's hand. "What's that?" He tugged at Takano's arm, trying to get a better view of the writing. Takano quickly pulled his hand away, and ran it under the water.

"Nothing. Nothing at all."

* * *

 **Well there you have it guys! Things are about to get even crazier! And who knows, there might even be a slight twist to the story! Stay tuned for next time!**


	7. Chapter 7:Fear

**Time for the next chapter of Secrets! Holy crap! I was thinking about this all day at work! XD Hope you like it! Don't forget to tell me what you think! ~(^.^)~** **that's a dancing jellyfish btw C: OH and "Saskue-is-badass", yes! I changed the doctor to a woman XD ahah! I was like "True dat, Yolo" (*.*) and so I did! Yep, that was for you! Glad you enjoyed it. Also, someone stated something about Ritsu being Prego-I do know that that's totally impossible for males-but hey! It's fanfiction! Anything can happen. Hahah. So, I have decided on that matter and I guess you will just have to wait for more chapters to make the path! EEEEkkkkk, I'm so tired from work-holy Jashin. But hey, I need money. Anyways, thanks for the reviews, please keep on reviewing. And don't worry! Haitani will show up. Eventually…or sooner than you think.**

* * *

Chapter 7: Fear

 **6:45 am:**

 _I'm running._

 _I'm running as fast as I can-and still, I can't reach him._

 _I'm panting, and gasping for air. My lungs are bursting, but I can't stop running._

' _Ritsu! Ritsu! Wait! Wait please!' I keep shouting at him-telling him not to leave-but he's not even moving…so why aren't I getting any closer?_

 _I stop running….just for a moment. I can see him…he's so close…but I can't reach. It's too far. My legs wobble, and I drop to my knees. My body feels heavy…and I can't move. I try to call out to Ritsu-but my voice won't sound at all._

 _He turns, and looks at me. He gives a small, sad smile, and holds out his hand to me._

' _Takano-san.' His emerald eyes are in despair…and I can feel my heart shatter into a million pieces. I try to say his name, but the words won't come out. And the harder I try to speak, the more destructive his eyes become. He pulls his hand back to his side, and takes steps back. 'Takano-san. I'm sorry.' He begins walking away…further_

 _And further_

 _And further_

 _And further….._

' _RITSU! Please don't leave me again.' I forced out a yell, which only rasped in my presence-he couldn't hear me, he didn't even look back. He was leaving me….he was really leaving….I felt tears pour out of my sockets._

"Takano-san!"

 _I can still hear him…_

 _But I don't see him…he's gone…he left me-again…_

"Takano-san!" _It's too much to bear…I don't wanna hear his voice anymore….he's deceived me…took my heart and-_

"TAKANO-SAN!"

Takano's eyes opened, and much too his surprise, Ritsu was next to him.

"Ritsu.." He whispered, as Ritsu wiped the tears from his lover's eyes, gently watching him in concern.

"Takano-san. You were dreaming. Are you okay? You kept calling my name so I thought you were awake." Takano sat up, and brushed the back of his hand over his forehead of cold sweat. "Takano-san?" Takano turned to Ritsu, and pulled him into a tight hug.

"Ritsu…" He whispered lightly, holding his hair between his fingers, "Please don't leave me." He felt Ritsu's body jump a little, but instead of pushing him away like he always did, he slowly embraced him back.

"H-Hai…"

* * *

 **8:00 am:**

Ritsu made his way into the bathroom, and stared at himself in the mirror.

 _I look like shit…._

Ritsu let out a deep sigh and began brushing his teeth. He glanced into the mirror, noticing a pale Takano in the doorway. He held a cigarette to his teeth, watching as Ritsu brushed his.

"whut?" Ritsu talked with the toothbrush in his mouth, still scrubbing away his morning breath. Takano shrugged and took another drag from his cigarette. Ritsu let out a 'tsk' and went back to scrubbing.

"You look like shit." Ritsu nearly choked at the comment, as Takano blew out the smoke from his mouth. Ritsu turned right around, throwing darts at Takano with his eyes.

"wad yew shay to me?!" Takano chuckled, and made his way towards the brunette. "Wad er yew duing?!"

"I can't understand you when your mouth is full of toothpaste." Ritsu took the toothbrush out of his mouth, and spoke again,

"What do you want?"

"Can't a man take a piss?"

Ritsu blushed at the comment, and turned back to his brushing. Takano left the cigarette in his mouth, walked to the toilet, and started to unzip his pants.

"What the hell are you doing!?" Ritsu shouted in complete mortification, absolutely embarrassed for the damn man. Takano gave him a _i-just-told-you_ look,

"Taking a piss." He spoke calmly, as if this were perfectly normal. Ritsu turned away, already crimson red at this point. He tried to look away as Takano took his piss (though it was fairly difficult to do…).

He washed out his mouth, while Takano put his-well you know…-away and washed his hands. Ritsu glared at him, as if glaring would rewind the last minute and erase it from history. Takano took another drag from his cigarette, and headed out into the bedroom. Ritsu followed behind him, and took a seat on the edge of the unmade bed.

"Takano-san…" He spoke softly, and darted his eyes everywhere but Takano.

"What?"

"Can i…." His voice trailed off, leaving Takano with nothing to answer to.

"NO." Takano spoke firmly, and Ritsu looked up in surprise.

"I haven't asked anything yet!"

"But I'm sure it's something stupid." Takano put out his cigarette in the ash tray, and waited for Ritsu to come up with something.

"I wanna go back to work!" Takano stared expressionless at Ritsu, who looked very determined to win. Takano blinked at him, then turned on his heel.

Ritsu followed him out to the kitchen, where Takano began chopping vegetables and boiling water.

"Takano-san! Please! I want to go! It's been a week already. I'm so behind! How am I gonna pay my rent!? I have to go to work!" Though the brunette insisted he was fine and ready to work, the fact of the matter was, that Takano was afraid of what else could happen. Ritsu protested and ranted for minutes, which only led Takano to tune out his pleas.

"I said no." Takano stated bluntly, and continued to make breakfast. Ritsu crossed his arms and bit the inside of his lip.

"But why…" Takano stopped at the tone of his voice-so sad and disappointed. The air was filled in silence, a strange, intense one….

"Because….i don't want to risk it." He lifted the knife to continue cutting, but found himself not able to. Ritsu stood quietly, unable to respond.

 _Does he know…that I was…No-there's no way….i didn't tell him…but….he could've been told by a doctor I suppose…..I want to ask…but it's not like I can just ask…._

Ritsu turned away, and walked back to the bathroom. He pulled out his daily pills, taking two out of the bottle. He placed them on his tongue, slowly heading back to the kitchen for water.

Takano stood there chopping. No words said. No gestures. Nothing. Just chopping. Frankly, the air was still and odd. Ritsu didn't understand why he couldn't work, and Takano couldn't understand why Ritsu thought he wouldn't take care of the extra work…He'd been doing it for the past week…At some point Ritsu had to realize that Takano was in fact taking care of it somehow.

"Takano-san….I…" Ritsu spoke, but let his voice trail off into silence once again. He didn't know what to say…what to do….should he ask why he can't go? Should he hug and kiss Takano to let him? Should he just leave? He didn't know.

The sickening feeling in his stomach overwhelmed him, and made him feel worse than he already did. Takano broke the silence with a simple, yet, powerful statement.

"I love you." And that was all.

Takano turned to the bedroom, and began to change. Ritsu could only watch in disappointment and in confusion, as his lover readied himself for work.

* * *

 **10:00 am:**

Takano had left two hours ago; he even left food on the stove for Ritsu. But he hadn't touched any of it. He felt nauseated and hot. He hadn't been eating well in the past week. All he did during the day was take pills, read, take pills again, throw up when his body felt sick, and then read some more. Eating and sleeping became such a hassle, it was useless at this point.

.

Ritsu reached for his phone on the counter, opening it to a new message.

 **From Haitani-san:**

 **To: Onodera Ritsu**

 _How are you feeling?_

Ritsu flinched at the contact name, memories flooding back to his head. It all seemed like a bad dream…but every time he looked in the mirror, or had to have help taking a shower, reality slapped him back in the face, it was no dream. It was real…

 **To Haitani-san:**

 **From: Onodera Ritsu**

 _What do you want?_

Ritsu set down his phone, and rested his head on the cool counter. _Just pretend this is a dream, and it will all go away…_ .

Ritsu picked up his phone, and read the new message.

 **From Haitani-san:**

 **To: Onodera Ritsu**

 _Now, that's not very nice…I just wanted to let you know that I'll be over later tonight. You better be ready for me ;)_

Ritsu felt fear shiver down his spine, tears forming in the corner of his eyes.

 **To Haitani-san:**

 **From: Onodera Ritsu**

 _No, please. I don't want to…please._

Ritsu waited for the angry reply; he knew there'd be one. And when that phone beeped again, his nerves were already broken for him to sob uncontrollably.

 **From: Haitani-san**

 **To: Onodera Ritsu**

 _I told you, you're mine._

 _See you tonight 3_

Ritsu threw his phone across the room, and hugged his sides.

 _What do I do? I don't wanna be here alone…._

Ritsu raised his head quickly, eager to get out of the house. He hurried into the bedroom, throwing on a jacket and shoes by the door. Though he'd have to reveal a deep secret,

Takano Masamune was the only person to protect him…


	8. Author's note!

**THis is not a chapter (though it will be out very very soon!) I have a problem guys...should Ritsu be prego or not! I don;t know what to do! I have to different plans. If Ritsu IS prego, then there will be a sequeal to this b/c i have a fantasitc idea for it (but it has nothing to do with Haitani) and the other is-well, can't spoil that-anyways please leave some reviews! I really need help deciding. I'm willing to comply with requests and hear you out! Please inbox me or leave a review on your choice. What ever idea gets the most votes will win. So yea! PLEASE HELP ME WITH THIS CHOICE! THANK YOU!**


	9. Chapter 8: Revealed

**8** **th** **chapter guys! Eighth f*cking chapter! DDAAANNNGGG, I'M ON A ROLL! Enjoy!**

Chapter 8: Revealed

 **11:30 pm:**

The Emerald department was quiet. Everyone sat at their desks, trying their best to finish in a decent amount of time. It was only half passed eleven. Yet, the day seemed to be dragging on. Kisa, Mino and Hatori continued their daily routine of work, though occasionally they'd ask about the newbie editor who seemed to be missing for the past week.

"Takano-san? How's Ricchan? I miss my buddy! I HAVE NO ONE TO CONFIDE IN!" Kisa slouched in his chair, spinning in circles as he whined. Hatori and Mino looked up from what they were doing, and nodded their heads in agreement.

"Yea, There's no one to ignore." Mino smiled, as always, and rested a hand on his cheek. Hatori shrugged, and nodded lightly.

"I agree." All the editors turned to Takano, who was extremely focused on a proposal that he'd been holding for the past hour and a half.

Takano looked up, raising an eyebrow at the others. "What now?" He asked, as if he hadn't been listening at all. Kisa smiled, and pried at the topic.

"Boss, We all know you miss Ricchan too~ Now you have no one screaming back at you or tossing rulers back onto your desk after you through them at his head!~" Kisa rocked his head side to side, humming his words as he spoke.

"That's true." Was all Hatori said, who continued to type away at his computer. Mino tapped the red pen on his chin, thinking about what was said. Takano gave an intense glare at Kisa, who seemed to be amused at the conversation's direction.

"Get back to work. If you have time to gossip, you'll have time for more piles of work on your desk." The others quickly shut their mouths and went right on working.

Though Takano kept his regular poker face, he secretly missed Ritsu working. He missed piling stacks of work on his desk, just to see his ticked off face. He missed making smart comments, just to rile him up more…even though he was home, safe and sound, there was a chance…

Still a chance, that he wouldn't be waiting for him when he got home…..and then, there was THAT chance….

 _No-Takano Masamune, don't even think like that…..that could never happen…_

"Ricchan?" Everyone's eyes darted towards the door, watching a panting Ritsu hold his side in pain. Takano stood from his chair, immediately rushing over to Ritsu.

"What the hell are you doing here!? I told you to stay home." Takano angrily, yet worriedly, helped Ritsu sit down in his seat. "You shouldn't be running! You could've reopened your wound." Takano and the others waited for Ritsu to say something of his sudden appearance.

"..." Ritsu held his side painfully, and grabbed Takano's arm impatiently. Takano watched curiously, as Kisa and the others waited for something…anything. A comment, a gesture, a mumble-anything. But he said nothing, only panted.

"Ricchan? What is it?" Kisa placed a hand on his co-worker's shoulder, hoping he would catch his breath soon. Mino and Hatori exchanged looks, concerned with the density in the air.

"Onodera?" Takano spoke gently, trying to get an answer out of him. Ritsu looked up from his panting, his emeralds boring into Takano's eyes. "What is it?" The very look in his eyes sent shivers down everyone's spines.

"He's….he's coming…he's coming.." Ritsu mumbled underneath his breath, still clenching Takano's arm firmly.

"What? Who is?" Takano felt a bug crawl all over his body-not just any bug-That bug…The bug that hadn't left him alone since the moment he lost Ritsu for the first time ten years ago-fear with a hint of helplessness.

Ritsu said nothing for a few minutes; he just sat there, and buried his face in his hand. He wasn't crying, wasn't even nervous, he just feared the possible out comes if he didn't tell Takano soon.

"Takano-san….i need to talk to you…alone…" Ritsu bit his lip, and said nothing further. Takano stood, concerned, and nodded to the others who headed to the door.

"Well be in the break room." Hatori and the others left out the door, leaving the two of them to talk.

* * *

"Now, what the hell are you talking about? Who is coming?" Takano pulled Kisa's seat, setting it firmly in front of Ritsu. Ritsu stopped biting his lip, and let out a gentle sigh.

"T-Takano-san….about that night….you see….I.." Ritsu held his mouth with his hands, and let a single tear fall from his eye.

"Please tell me. Don't be afraid. I won't judge you." Takano ran his hand through the brunette's hair, relaxing him as he began again.

"That day, when I confessed….i had gotten a phone call, remember?" Ritsu met Takano's steady gaze, and stared back down to the floor when he nodded. "Well, I was mad at you…because you snorted at me again…and so i….i thought that you were playing around with my head again…"

Takano felt his brows furrow, "What does that have to do with anything?" He asked, not really connecting the pieces. There were just too many holes in between. He couldn't understand until the story was told in the fullest, not half-assed.

"Well, remember when we were walking to work and Haitani-san called?" Ritsu squeezed his eyes shut, both at the mention of the name rolling off his tongue, and the reaction he's be getting out of Takano any minute. Takano took Ritsu's hand, gently squeezing it.

"Is Haitani the one…who raped you….." Takano's eyes were steadily watching Ritsu, noting how he flinched at the comment.

"Wh-what? How did you know?!" Ritsu's eyes widened, pulling his hand away from the raven.

"The nurse told me." Takano's eyes were fixed on his beloved, who had tear stains rolling constantly one after another. He stood, and kneeled in front of him, wiping them with his thumbs. Ritsu held his body in shame, sobbing quietly to himself. "Ritsu, no matter what happened…I don't love you any less. In fact, I love you more. And I've been thinking this for a while now, but…." He stopped as Ritsu looked up in distressed eyes.

"What? What are you thinking? No-I don't wanna know!" Ritsu stood from the chair, and paced around the area. Takano watched Ritsu in silence, deciding to finish his statement.

"I was gonna say, we should tell the police so that the investigation can come to a closer." Ritsu hugged his trembling body, his back facing the concerned Takano.

"Did you mean it?"

"What?" Takano stood from Kisa's chair, and walked slowly to Ritsu.

"That you love me. Did you mean it?" Ritsu didn't move, nor did he say anything else. He just waited for a reply. But not just any reply, it had to be the truth. No more secrets. Not now. Takano turned Ritsu around to face him, and held him close to his chest.

"Ritsu, There's no one else for me. I've loved you for ten years. I loved you back then, and I love you now. For who you are. I'll do whatever it takes to prove that." Ritsu buried his head into Takano's chest, clenching his shirt in his hands.

"I…I really do….i really do love you…." Ritsu nuzzled his face further into Takano's chest. Takano felt a sense of relief and happiness wash over him. He opened his mouth to speak when he heard Ritsu speak again. "Masamune.."

Takano felt his heart stop for a second, and held Ritsu closer to him, whispering his name, "Ritsu."

* * *

 **11:50 pm:**

Takano and Ritsu headed to the break room, where the others sat and drank coffee and snacked on junk food. Ritsu tugged Takano's shirt nervously, his face already a strong pink. Takano turned around, waiting for Ritsu's voice to respond.

"I..uh….should I go home?" Ritsu's held his head down, clasping his hands together. Takano took one of his hands, and tugged him towards the others.

"Hatori, you're in charge. I have to take care of a few things. I'll see you later." Hatori nodded, leaving Kisa and Mino to glance at each other, then at their intertwined hands.

"Onodera, let's go." Takano pulled Ritsu towards the elevator in a hurry, leaving the other editors with a million questions, and not enough answers.

Ritsu took a seat on the passenger's side, twiddling his thumbs as Takano started the engine. Takano hadn't said anything for a while. He only sat Ritsu down in the car, and took off driving. Ritsu stole a side glance, slightly relieved Takano took it so well. It was a miracle he didn't freak out…though he probably did at the hospital…

Takano looked into his rearview mirror, watching the traffic and lights as they drove. Neither said a word. Takano was too busy in his own thoughts to even question deeper into the situation. And even if he did ask for details, it was a 90% chance that Ritsu would only ignore the question or break down. Which would not only lead him to yet another dead end, but rile Ritsu up in a way he was not willing to comply to.

He noticed Ritsu fidgeting his hands around. This was odd, for he had never done that before. He noticed he looked paler…usually he was a light tan…Takano also took note on how thin Ritsu felt lately. Perhaps he wasn't eating enough.

He studied Ritsu. Closely. Though Ritsu told him the truth….he knew, that wasn't all of the truth. Did he forget to ask something? Well, the doctor did say he might have mild amnesia, though it didn't seem that way…Maybe he did…

 _Maybe I should ask random questions to get his mind flowing…I know I'm missing something…..but what?_

Takano thought to himself quietly, contemplating on the options he held. Rile Ritsu up with pointless question to test his theory, or dig deeper into the situation, and rile him up that way….

 _Damn, there's no way around it…It can't be helped…._

"Ritsu, what day is your birthday?" Ritsu turned his gaze from the window to the man next to him.

 _Did this guy….seriously forget my fucking birthday?!_

"What? Why?" Ritsu felt a vein pop, ' _such a pain.'_ Takano stayed expressionless, hearing the annoyed tone in Ritsu's voice.

"Just answer the question."

"Ugh, it's March 27!" Ritsu crossed his arms, and forced his eyes away from Takano.

"Okay. When's my birthday?" Ritsu rolled his eyes, ' _what is this? Fucking 20 questions?'_

"The 24th of December, Christmas eve."

"Okay, how did we meet ten years ago?"

Ritsu faced Takano once again, appalled at such a question. He smacked his tongue against his teeth, and sighed, "Takano-san, what the hell?"

"Just answer the damn question."

"We were in the Library, and I couldn't reach a book and you got it down for me. And yea, you know the story. Geez, Takano-san! The least you could do is remember these things instead of-well never mind. Forget it." Ritsu sighed once again, eye twitching out of sight. ' _this guy….'_

Takano smiled to himself; He was right. No-he was more than right. He was victorious. Ritsu definitely knew the answers to all of his questions, which means that he doesn't have any kind of amnesia. Which means that the doctor's theory was partially incorrect. IF Ritsu did in fact have amnesia, even at the slightest, he would've forgotten something. And he definitely knew all the answers. Which led to another thing…..He's the one who approach Takano with his secret of Haitani, which means that he did not have this condition. If the doctor was right about the mild case, Ritsu definitely wouldn't have brought the incident up in the first place. Thinking back on it, the doctor did say that either he would have this condition, or

He just didn't want to remember.

And that was definitely the case. Ritsu, in fact, did NOT want to remember at the time. Which leads to another thing, secrets. Fooling some people, of course. But fooling the man who knew his lies were pitiful…this was an easy strike.

Reflecting off of his past lies, he stuttered and/or turned pink. Which obviously gave him away instantly. Anyone who truly knew Ritsu to some extend, would know this. The doctor may have assumed, which only led to her theory, which led to only a 'mild amnesia', which resulted in asking only a few questions. Yes-Takano was truly bursting ecstatically inside.

"Ritsu."

"what now?" Ritsu answered angrily, avoiding any eye contact with Takano.

"I have a plan. But you have to do EXACTLY as I tell you."

 _Yes…This should work, not because I think it will, but because I KNOW it will….Haitani,_

 _You should've never barked up the wrong tree…_


	10. Chapter 9: A risky choice

**Whooooaa! Chapter 9 is here! Ah ssshhhhiiiiiitttttt! Anyways, its time for the DISCLAIMER once again!**

 **ME: (throws rock at Takano) Takano! I choose you!**

 **Takano: What THE FUCK!?**

 **Ritsu: Takano-san! Watch your language!**

 **Me: Yea Takano, what the fuck is your problem!?**

 **Takano: What the fuck!? How come you can cuss and I'm the one who gets bitched at?**

 **Ritsu: Takano-san! One more word I swear this story will take a turn for the worse!**

 **Me: Well, apparently I don't make the decisions anymore…..0_0**

 **Takano: Alright everyone! She doesn't own shit! Okay?! Damn All of you are idiots!**

 **Me: 'tsk' whatever Takano. Come back into your poke' ball.**

 **Ritsu: Uh…I think you have the wrong show…this is yaoi….not pokemon.**

 **ME: oh…true….Well, hope you like this chapter!**

* * *

Chapter 9: A risky choice

Haitani sat at his desk, typing away at his computer. He acted normal, talked normal. Seemed overall, well, normal….But people knew he wasn't entirely normal…for there are definitely different definitions for word. Men knew he was bisexual, women were blind to it, yes, the man was in a way mysterious. He was kind, generous, friendly, the ideal co-worker-but there were those who knew his secret about Onodera Ritsu.

"Haitani-san. We need to talk." A man stood in the doorway, lean, brown hair, brown eyes watched Haitani as he looked up from his laptop, closing it in front of him.

"What is it?" Haitani stood from his seat, shoving his hands in his pant pockets. The man stood still, and crossing his arms in front of his chest.

"Come with me. We can't talk here." The man left out the doorway, Haitani following closely behind.

The tall man led Haitani into a secluded room, closing and locking the door behind them. Haitani leaned against the wall, sighing deeply as the man unfolded his arms.

"This better be good." Haitani looked around the room, listening for a reply.

"Haitani-san, I know you want revenge, and I know that you hate Takano Masamune. But we're back together now, I don't see why this is still going on. I know I agreed to help you with this, but I don't want to be arrested." Haitani stood quietly, nibbling on his lower lip.

"But you see, I don't want you anymore…" The man looked puzzled, heart almost shattering at the comment.

"What the hell does that mean Haitani?!" The man furiously grabbed Haitani's shirt, heart racing profoundly. Haitani smirked, pushing his lover off of him.

"Look, I don't mean to be a dick Ikuto, but…I am serious about someone else right now…just like how you are about Takano-san. In case it's slipped your mind," Haitani headed towards the door, hands still relaxing in his pockets, "You were the one who said Takano Masamune was the only one for you. And guess what, he rejected you. Why? Because he doesn't like man whores. He wants what I want. And that…..

Is Onodera Ritsu."

* * *

Takano held Ritsu's hand through the park, slowly strolling through it. Ritsu, confused, turned to Takano,

"Takano-san…"

"Call me Masamune. We're not at work. And you're my lover, Ritsu." Takano smiled to himself, feeling the warmth of Ritsu's small hand warped in his. It was nice to call Ritsu his lover at last. It was well worth the wait.

Ritsu blushed, and averted his eyes from his official lover. "M-Masamune….W-why are we here?" Takano stopped walking, and pointed at a nearby tree. Ritsu looked in that direction, trying to find something of importance. "What about it?"

Takano didn't answer, only tugged Ritsu to the area. "Sit down." Ritsu sat himself in front of the tree, hugging his knees comfortably.

"Well, what is it?" Ritsu waited for an explanation, hoping it wasn't something dumb. Takano stood, watching the area for people.

"I want you to listen very carefully. Do you have your phone?" Ritsu nodded and pulled out his cell from his pocket. "Good. Now, when was the last time you heard from Haitani?"

"huh, uh…Earlier today. Why?"

"Was it a call or message? And what was said?" Takano took a seat next to the brunette, watching as he opened messages.

"Messages. He said he'd be coming by later…but he doesn't know im staying with you for this month." Ritsu bit his lip inside, fidgeting his fingers against the phone. Takano took hold of the phone, taking a moment to read through the messages exchanged.

"Okay. Now, I want you to message Haitani, and ask him what time he'll be here." Ritsu looked up in disbelief, gazing fearfully into Takano's eyes.

"You want me to do what?!" Ritsu stood abruptly, shouting at the order from Takano. People looked their way, whispering and watching as Ritsu snatched his phone. "No way! What the hell is wrong with you!?" Takano stood, taking the phone back.

"Damn it Onodera, just do it. You have to trust me." Takano stared into Ritsu's eyes, trying to get a reaction out of him. But all he could see was anger and hurt.

"What are you trying to do…..I don't…I don't understand why you want to put me in that situation again…" Ritsu clenched his fists tightly, and turned his head away from his lover. Takano took Ritsu into a light hug, petting his hair.

"Ritsu, please. Trust me. I have a plan." Ritsu sighed, and took his phone to message Haitani.

"I hate you." Ritsu mumbled and blushed lightly as he typed. Takano chuckled and watched Ritsu's choice of words on the message closely.

 _I just hope I'm right…_

* * *

Haitani saw his phone light up on his desk. He raised an eyebrow, and opened the message.

 **From: Onodera Ritsu**

 **To: Haitani-san**

 _What time will you be coming?_

Haitani felt his heart clench, something was off. This wasn't right. Ritsu was in a huge denial and rejection earlier…this didn't make sense. He struggled to find an answer for the sudden message. This must be a trick…could it be Takano Masamune's doing? Well, he couldn't see Ritsu just asking out of the blue for a time. Or could he? No-it had to be a trick. No doubt about it. Ritsu was smart, but he would never put himself in unreasonable danger. He rejected him so many times, so why did this one feel different?

 **To: Onodera Ritsu**

 **From: Haitani-san**

 _Why the sudden change in attitude? (-.-)_

Haitani set down his phone, and opened his laptop once again. He rested his hand on his chin, thinking about the situation.

 **From: Onodera Ritsu**

 **To: Haitani-san**

 _I want to be with you. I've changed my mind. I've been thinking a lot, and I think that I could give us a chance. Please meet me. Let's make it a date, yes? 3_

Haitani felt his heart about to burst. Both of happiness and anxiety. Though this is what he wanted, it felt wrong. Maybe his hunch was wrong, maybe he really didn't want to be with Takano anymore….Whatever the case, he'd have to be ready. It could easily be a trap.

 **To: Onodera Ritsu**

 **From: Haitani-san**

 _Okay. Where do you want to meet at? XD 3_

Haitani bit his finger, anxiously waiting for the reply.

BEEP. BEEP.

 **From: Onodera Ritsu**

 **To: Haitani-san**

 _The bar by my apartment. It's close to your house, yes? O/O_

 **To: Onodera Ritsu**

 **From: Haitani-san**

 _You want to come home with me? :D ;* 3_

Haitani tapped his foot underneath his desk, impatiently awaiting a the reply he was hoping for.

 _please say yes…than everything will fall into my favor…_

Haitani stared at his phone, it had only been about thirty seconds since he sent the last message…he wouldn't be replying right away.

BEEP. BEEP.

 **From: Onodera Ritsu**

 **To: Haitani-san**

… _yes…\\(*/o/*)/ unless it's too much of a hassle….we could always do it a different time…:/_

Haitani felt his heart skip a beat. Everything was working out in his favor. Maybe he didn't love Ritsu, but he did find himself absolutely infatuated by him. He did feel bad about stabbing him, but he deserved it. Ritsu didn't know what he was putting him through. He wanted him for his selfish desires, and he would have it.

Haitani quickly found himself sending a response.

 **From: Haitani-san**

 **To: Onodera Ritsu**

 _^.^ I'd be more than happy to show you what a good time is. Besides…..I'm glad that you've finally realized that im much more suited for you than Takano-san. In case you didn't know, he's been sleeping with my ex lover for the past two months…_

Haitani stood from his desk in victory. The last part of course wasn't true at all. Takano hated Haitani's ex lover after all the times he was rejected and never stopped pursuing. But it was all the more reason from Ritsu to come running into his arms.

 _Takano Masamune, you should've thought you're plan all the way through. When Ikuto shows up at your door tonight, Ritsu will definitely come running back to yours truly…_

* * *

Takano snatched the phone away from Ritsu, who only stared at the message he just received. Ritsu stared at Takano, who was now extremely pissed at the comment.

"Ritsu, you already know that I haven't been sleeping around. You're in my apartment almost every night, and we leave work together. Don't believe a word he says. This is all just part of the game." Takano reassured Ritsu with a peck on the forehead. Ritsu's hands continued to fidget, and he pulled out a medication bottle.

Takano watched in confusion, "What the hell are you doing?"

"Taking my pain medication, geez. Calm down. I know it's a lie. After what he did to me, I don't see me running-or crawling to him even if I was dead. Plus, after all that waiting and annoying pursuing you did, I'm pretty sure I was the only one in your bedroom for the past year." Ritsu popped to pills into his mouth, swallowing them dry. He gave a light smile, and rested his hand on Masamune's. "Don't worry, I believe you."

Takano felt a smile of relief come across his face. He was at ease hearing those words…but…it was odd that Ritsu suddenly took medication after THAT particular message…Oh well, maybe it was just time to take the first batch…

"Ritsu, I love you." Takano kissed Ritsu's relaxed hand gently, and watched Ritsu's face turn from pale to pink in a split second.

"I-i…uh….*cough*ove you *cough*oo." Takano chuckled, and looked at the message again.

"You better reply, or he'll suspect something." Takano looked at it sadly, handing him the phone. Ritsu pushed the reply button, and typed quickly.

"Okay, it's sent." Takano smiled as Ritsu slid the phone into his pocket. "Now what?" Takano shrugged, and looked around at the almost vacant park.

"You wanna make-out?" Ritsu turned a bright red, shushing Takano.

"!We're in publ-Mmpphh" Takano kissed Ritsu, eventually deepening the kiss. Ritsu, reluctantly, slid his arms around Takano's neck, giving in to the sensation. "Takano-san…just kissing…no more than that, okay?" Takano nodded, giving a small smile once again.

"Yes my little prince."

* * *

 **YAY! Chapter 9 is done! Whew! Tell me what you guys think! Hope you enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed writing it! XD**


	11. Chapter 10: Unexpected Twist

**Hey guys! Here's chapter ten! I'm sure none of you guys ever read the author's note up here, but hey F*ck it! I'm gonna type one anyway! Thank you for all the follows and favorites, I'll do my very best to keep you intrigued! Enjoy! (and please review!) Thanks :P**

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Chapter 10: Unexpected twist

 _You can never truly know someone, can you?_

 _You can't just assume that everything they've told you is true…because there's always a high chance that it's not. I've told my share of lies. I've done my share of sins…I've done my share of hurting…_

 _I think at some point in our lives, everyone has to experience something traumatizing enough to make them question their sanity or significance. People don't realize what they have until its gone-or at least, that is what is said. But that isn't true at all. The truth is,_

 _They DO know what they have…but they're just too stupid to accept it whole-heartedly…and that is what leads us-as humans-to our downfall._

 _Maybe it's because I care too much._

 _Maybe it's because I didn't care enough._

 _Whatever the reason, I lost what I had ten years ago. And part of it, was my doing. Meeting Ritsu, was probably one of the most confusing times in my life. I had a lot going on…yes, I was doing fine. I survived, I got by…but in all honesty with myself, and with him,_

 _I needed a shoulder to lean on…_

 _But as Karma happens to catch up with you, I'm the one who hurt Ritsu in the first place. I killed that smile he doesn't show to me -or anyone for that matter. I hurt him with a simple laugh to hide my smart remarks without even thinking…or realizing how fragile he was. I'm the one who wanted to be rebellious and take his heart knowingly, and trying to make it only mine. And for a short while,_

 _It was mine. And it's moments like those that seem only natural and perfect. But every hello has a goodbye on the other side awaiting them. And it was my fault._

 _Here, right now, at this moment, as I kiss him tenderly…I can only greedily hog his attention. I want it. I want it to be only mine. And though he's confessed, I can't help but think there's something he's not telling me…which leaves me thinking that there's a new secret to obtain._

 _His lips on mine, on make me all the more selfish…and knowing that I'm the one who changed his beautiful personality ten years ago…makes me want to spend my life making it up to him. That's why I have to do this…_

 _I have to protect him this time…because for the last time, I've found myself helpless when he's needed me the most…I never want to experience that again…I never want to come home to a half-dead Ritsu._

 _Never again._

 _Never again._

"Ricchan?"

Ritsu pulled away from Takano's lips, only to see An-chan standing near them. Ritsu felt himself panic, and quickly sat up from the ground.

"An-chan!" Ritsu flustered, while Takano crossed his arms against his chest.

"What the hell do you want?" Takano spoke sternly, angry with the girl standing before them. An-chan shot him a look, and took a seat next to Ritsu, completely ignoring Takano's presence.

"I'm meeting your mother here Ricchan. But what are you doing making out here! This is where you and I used to come when we were kids? Doesn't that mean anything?" Ritsu lifted an eyebrow, trying to recall a single memory here.

"Um…a-ano…An-chan, I don't remember coming here." Ritsu gave her a blank stare, as she turned a light pink. Takano smacked his tongue against his teeth, catching An-chan and Ritsu's attention.

"I asked you what the hell you wanted, not what you were doing here." Takano slipped his hand around Ritsu's waist, pulling him closer to him. Ritsu blushed at the action, not knowing exactly how to break the tension.

None of them said anything. Ritsu could only turn his attention back and forth between the glares exchanged. An-chan gave her usual _I really don't like you_ face, while Takano wore the _I'll fucking kill you_ and bad aura face.

Ritsu cleared his throat a few times, and patted Takano's hand. "hehem, Takano-san…why don't we go back to the car…" Takano turned his attention away from An-chan, and gave Ritsu a light peck on the lips.

"Sure my love. I'd rather make out with you in the car anyway." Takano pulled Ritsu to the car, unlocking the vehicle with his keys.

"Ritsu! Why haven't you called!?"

 _Oh shit….if it isn't the one who caused a lot of trouble back at the hospital…great…_

Takano turned his head to the chestnut haired woman, who appeared furious before them. Ritsu subconsciously held onto Takano's hand, heart pounding from the sight of his mother. Takano pulled Ritsu close to him, and opened the door to the passenger seat.

"Onodera Ritsu! Answer me this minute! And who are you!?" His mother was definitely causing a scene at this point, hands on her hips, eyebrows furrowed sternly. She looked at Takano's hand around her son's waist, who was currently trying to find an explanation.

"Ritsu, get in." Takano held the door open, gently sitting Ritsu down on the passenger's seat. "You rest, I'll take care of this one." Ritsu tried to find something to say, but ended up having the door shut before he could say anything. All he could do was watched from the passenger's window, as his mother pointed and shouted at his lover.

"Onodera-sama, My name's Takano Masamune. I'm Onodera's boss and neighbor. It's a pleasure to meet your acquaintance. However, due to the condition Onodera's been in he hasn't gone to work for the past week nor has he had a chance to make phone calls. I brought him out here for fresh air, now if you'll please excuse us, I better take him home." Takano smiled, and bowed, hoping she wouldn't continue, but he wasn't as fortunate as last time.

She smacked her teeth and crossed her arms, almost shouting when she spoke again. "As Ritsu's mother I can sense there's something else you are not telling me. I demand to speak with my son. After all, you _do not_ own him, nor will you _ever._ "

Takano's heart stopped at the words. It just brought up the one person he really didn't want to think about right now…

Haitani.

' _After all, You don't OWN him..'_

Takano sighed very lightly, almost inaudible. "Onodera-sama, he must get home. I'll see to it that he gives you a call." Takano bowed again, and started walking to the driver's side of the car.

"I know you're the one that found him. And I know that you're his boss. But I also know…that you are extremely close to my son. It's no surprise to me, however, he will be married to a woman, _Saga Masamune._ "

Takano's eyes widened, as she turned her back to them. He watched her walk away, gesturing An-chan, (who quietly stood in the background), to leave with her. Takano stared as their figures turned into mere shadows in the distance.

* * *

Ritsu studied his lover's face from the corner of his eye. The drive home was-well-slightly frightening. Takano slammed the door when he got in, and started speeding down the street after his mother left. All Ritsu could manage to do was hang on for dear life, and turn his head to take his pills dry.

Takano looked angry…no-he looked Furious. Something in his aura said that it wasn't as good as a conversation as he had hoped it would be. And though Ritsu desperately wanted to know what had been said…it would go no where but Takano snapping at him…

Most of the drive had been silent. The sun was peering in through the car windows, the traffic had been slow, and the angry atmosphere hadn't change in the past 15 minutes they had been driving.

"T-takano-san….um…are you okay?..." Ritsu spoke softly, hoping Takano would respond even with just a simple 'yes.' But the air was still. Takano only stared straight ahead, grasping the wheel for dear life. "um…Takano-san…."

"…"

"Okay…" Ritsu shut his mouth and tried to distract himself wit his surroundings. He stared at the cars around them. Different people in each car. A car on the right side of them was two people laughing and singing to the radio. And in the car in front of them, a man smoked a cigarette alone, from the looks of it. And in the car to the right, there was a family. The couple looked like they were fighting, and their kid in the back was staring at Ritsu through his window. He looked so sad, so desperate to run. But how could he? He wasn't just confined in a car, but in the particular family and in that moment.

Ritsu stared at the little boy, who was now crying. He stared back, placing a hand on his window, pleading with his eyes. Ritsu thought the scene looked all to familiar…ah yes….it was familiar.

Ritsu Oda.

Yes, he looked like that Ritsu, who had been long slaughtered…

Ritsu placed a hand on the window, mimicking the little boy. Takano stole a quick glance of his lover, who watched the little boy through the window.

"you must feel sorry for him." Ritsu turned his attention to Takano, who did not remove his eyes from the slow traffic in front of him.

"Eh? Um…a little yea…I mean…he looks so sad.." Ritsu bit his lip, taking his hand from the window, avoiding eye contact with Takano and the little boy. Takano thought to himself quietly. Ritsu would never know what it was like to be in that situation, could he? NO-he was a spoiled little rich kid from a loving family. What could he know about loneliness or family problems? He couldn't. He wouldn't.

"I bet you don't know what that's like. To be alone; I mean, you're parents aren't divorced." Takano watched curiously from the corner of his eye, pretending to be insincere. But in all honestly, he just wanted to know what kind of people his parents were. Not that he meant any harm. But from the looks of Ritsu's mother, it seemed that there were a few problems yet to be dealt with in his family.

Ritsu gave a confused look and shook his head. "What does that have to do with anything Takano-san? My parents fight just like any other married couple. They always have and always will. Isn't that a natural thing?"

'Tsk.' Was all he got from Takano. Just a 'tsk.' In the deep depths of his soul, that pissed him off…Not that it was Ritsu's fault. It was just something that annoyed the hell out of him. Some people would just never understand the feeling of watching their parents constantly fight when they were near each other…and them never being home…It truly was a despairing sight..

"Takano-san, I don't know what my mother said to you, but I don't see why you're acting like a douche bag." Ritsu slouched in his seat, contemplating if he should just leave it alone. Takano turned his face away from the traffic ahead of them, and pulled Ritsu by the collar.

"You're mine. Aren't you?" Ritsu lifted an eyebrow, feeling his cheeks tint into color.

"Wh-what?" Takano stared into the emerald eyes, pulling him in to a soft kiss.

"I love you." Ritsu's heart raced quickly, and could only turn his eyes away from the raven.

"W-what's g-gotten into you?" Ritsu puffed out his cheeks, still avoiding gaze. Takano let go of his collar, and turned back to the road.

"I just wanted to tell you, that's all."

* * *

Haitani stared at the clock, tapping his foot underneath his desk impatiently.

 _1:15pm. Still a long ways to go before I get what I want…damn…_

Haitani checked his phone, opening the last message from Onodera.

 **From: Onodera Ritsu**

 **To: Haitani-san**

 _I can't wait ;p_

That was all. He hadn't sent one back, it just seemed easier to get the topic off his mind that way. He had been staring at the printouts for the past twenty minutes, contemplating on how to set Takano up for failure.

 _Of course, he had a slight advantage…for he carries Onodera-kun in his grasp. They work in the same department, they live right next door to each other. Not to mention Takano is completely head over hills with Onodera-kun…it was almost like Takano had a secure plan….. No wait_

… _this is perfect…._

Haitani let out a hysterical laugh, nibbling his finger between his teeth.

 _This is absolutely perfect. Takano IS in fact Head over heels with Onodera-kun…if he's planning on using him as bait, he must have a detailed mission…whatever that may be it could be difficult to get passed…._

 _Option 1) wing-it…_

 _Which would most likely end in failure. That's a 99% given fact…._

 _Option 2) Use Ikuto as a predator…but considering earlier, it would take a good fucking to convince him that I was only joking and want him to seduce Takano in front of Onodera-kun…_

 _Option 3) Seduce Onodera-kun to make him willing….i mean…he'll be drunk by the time I take him home…_

 _Yes, that makes sense. That is, if I can get Onodera's fiancé' to cooperate again. I mean…I was the one who called her and told her Onodera-kun was in the hospital…and she called his parents. It makes sense. But then I'd have to figure out a way to distract Takano…_

Haitani tapped his pen on his chin, synchronizing a plan in his head. His editors were quiet, as they studied different papers and typed on their laptops. The department was doing well overall...though not as well as Takano's….Of course, Takano had slept around in the past, mostly with the women there, and a few of the men…such a reputation…

 _Then again…..maybe…his reputation will finally get back to him…just like anyone, no one likes to be second best…yes, that's it. All three of these options will work just fine. I'll call up An-chan, telling her that I'm a close friend of Onodera-kun and I've found the person who supposedly raped him. Of course she'll automatically believe me. She'll call the police, and want to confront the man who did such a terrible thing._

 _She'll ask who, and I'll tell her the only possible answer. Takano Masamune. She's so gullible, this will be easy. I'll tell her he's only by he's side because of threats Takano's made towards the poor boy. And when I get ahold of Onodera-kun's phone, and show her the messages exchanged, she'll have to believe me. Of course, I've already had this idea for quite so me time, which is why I took the liberty of using a number that will automatically trace back to Takano's phone number. The police will have no choice but take him in…plus I have half the police force as friends…_

 _The only problem is Onodera-kun himself…if he ends up admitting that it was really me who did that, then of course I'll be charged…though I can easily get out of it with my connections. I guess it comes in handy to have half the task force as your pawns…_

 _Then there's his mother who I've told all about 'Saga-senpai.' Her precious son was infatuated with a man-of course this doesn't sit well with her or her husband-they have a reputation to uphold. She was appalled when I told her, but with old pictures of her son making out with old Saga in the library back in school, she was easily convinced. Plus, An-Chan saw this first hand indirectly…_

 _Plus, I've always been attracted to Onodera Ritsu…ever since middle school. We were best friends. And when I told him I loved him he turned me down and said he already had someone he loved…not to mention he doesn't remember me what-so-ever…_

 _It's a risky plan…and there's a lot of holes…maybe I should cancel and think this one through…..NO-then Takano would definitely suspect something. Damn it at to hell, there's only one way to find out if it works,_

 _And that is to test it tonight._


	12. Chapter 11: An attempt to mend the past

**The beginning is VERY IMPORTANT! VERY IMPORTANT! And if you seriously don't understand the MAJOR BOMB in here, please message me or review and I will explain it to you! Just a heads up, it's very important. We're traveling back in time here, so if you've seen the last episode "Love is bitter-sweet," you'll know what's going on. If you haven't, try to watch it BEFORE reading this. Just so you have the feels XD OKAY?! Okay! C: And I only got one review for my last chapter, sadness…** **Please review! It helps me progress the story in more ways than one!**

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Chapter 11: An attempt to mend the past

 _Being attracted to the same sex isn't ideal. It is an immoral act and its abnormal; and we're discriminated because of our sexual preferences constantly. Condemned for being wrong. But unwilling to make it stop. This is what being 'gay' is. That is the definition. We're called losers, faggots, and other shit like that. People are so judgmental that they will do anything to prove that we are the gross ones._

 _But really,_

 _They're the gross ones…HE was the gross one…_

 _It was my first day of school…and everyone treated me like an outsider…well, more like than didn't treat me like anything at all, I was invisible. Non-existent, or whatever you'd like to call it. Then, an angel came through for me._

 _My savior,_

 _Onodera Ritsu. He was really fascinating…all the girls were absolutely infatuated with him. He was gorgeous. His bangs split cutely in the middle, his smile warming your heart. His vibrant aura, his soft characteristics. He played every instrument, violin, piano, keyboard-you name it, he played it better than anyone…and his voice,_

 _Oh his voice….how do I put it into words? I can't even begin to define the beauty of it. It was so beautiful, it made tears pour out of your eyes unexpectedly, leaving you absolutely breathless. But I think what people found most intriguing about this particular male, was his eyes._

 _An emerald green. Luscious, fiery, soft green…I almost couldn't resist the temptation to take him into my grasp._

 _When I walked into class, I felt as if the whispers were already beginning, maybe I was just paranoid…maybe I was just being stupidly shy about transferring in the middle of school…but that was when I saw him._

 _Reading quietly at his desk._

" _Students, this is Haitani-san, he will join our class as of today. Please be nice to him." The teacher patted my shoulder, as I did a quick bow. "Tell us something about yourself Haitani-san." I looked at him nervously, pulse practically jumping out of my shirt._

" _H-Hai…um im Haitani, and I just moved here from Hokkaido…It's a pleasure to be here." I glanced around at some of my classmates, trying to focus at making a good first impression._

 _The teacher pointed at Onodera-kun, "Onodera-san, please help Haitani-san as we continue our lesson. Haitani-san, you can sit next to Onodera-san, the one with the book." I turned to the sight of a vibrant smile, practically forcing myself not to get caught up in those eyes._

 _I made my way to the empty seat next to him, as he moved his bag from the chair. "Hello, I'm Onodera Ritsu. I'm glad to make your acquaintance. I'll help you with whatever you need. Let's be friends, okay?" I blushed, and nodded as I took a seat._

" _Haitani-san, what is that that you're eating?" Onodera-kun stared at my Panda Way sandwich curiously. I blinked, lifting an eyebrow._

" _Um, it's a sandwich from Panda Way. Haven't you ever had one?" His cheeks turned a light pink, and he took a seat across from me._

" _E-etto…n-no. I've never had that before…" He scratched the nape of his neck nervously, and shuffled into his seat comfortably. I looked at my sandwich, then back at him. Then at my sandwich, then back at him._

" _Would you like a bite?" I asked him, heart thumping like a mad-man. His emerald eyes widened, and then closed as he smiled._

" _No thank you Haitani-san. Oh, I have to go to the library for something. I'll see you later." He picked up his bag, and held it gently between his petite hands._

 _THUDUMP. THUDUMP. THUDUMP._

' _I can't believe this guy…has never had a sandwich from this place…'_

 _I stared at the empty seat in front of me, and noticed a book lying on the table. I picked it up, and looked it over for a second._

' _This isn't mine…I guess he left it…I'll just take it to him.' I stood up from my seat, packing my lunch away and picking up my bag. I looked the book over one last time, not bothering to open it, and headed towards the library._

 _I entered the library, looking quietly for Onodera-kun. There wasn't really anyone in here. Actually there was only about five people from what I observed. Pretty empty._

 _I scanned the bookshelves for about 20 minutes, before moving to the back part of the library to search. I made my way over there, stepping lightly, and humming to myself._

' _I can't wait to see that cute face he makes when he smiles or is nervous. Maybe he'll fall for me…'_

 _After entering, (and seeing no one around), I shrugged, and practically gave up in my search when I saw that brown mop between the shelves._

" _ah, finally." I mumbled to myself, and headed quietly over to my destination._

" _um...Sorry…It's about time I went home for the day…" Onodera-Kun spoke, nervously switching off of each foot. I stopped in my tracks, trying to see who he was talking to. I bit my lip, watching as he gave a sheepish laugh, and spoke again, "uh…what about you senpai?" He took a few steps down the aisle, when I noticed a tall raven behind him._

' _Was this the guy bullying him?! Oh I swear I'll kick his ass!' I felt my heart grow angry, and I clenched the book in my hands._

" _I'll be here until the library closes." The raven spoke, attention focused on a book. Onodera-Kun hesitated before speaking again,_

" _You always stay here late don't you?"_

 _The raven's focus did not leave the book, only gave a small reply, "It's boring at home anyways." I could almost feel Onodera-kun's nervousness. Though, I didn't understand why he was having such a hard time talking to this guy, when he was fine with everyone else._

" _Why?" He asked curiously. I listened carefully, for I too was internal intrigued by this conversation._

" _How should I put it," the raven spoke bluntly, "My family's falling apart at the moment." Both Onodera-kun and I flinched at the blunt remark. He spoke as if he was talking about the weather…though, I assumed he only spoke so freely to Onodera-kun._

" _S-Sorry! I shouldn't have pried…"_

" _It's okay. It's better with the cat around." The raven's attention was still only on the book, which was starting to get on my nerves. Who talks to someone with their back faced to them!? And especially to Onodera-Kun! How rude! "Want to stay at my house tonight?"_

 _I felt my heart race with jealously, 'why would he ask that!? Wait, no, they're just friends. Guys ask other guys to stay over…don't they!? They have to be friends. Onodera-kun's mine…..'_

 _Onodera-kun became jumpy and began speaking entirely fast without any breaths in between his sentences. "How am I supposed to react if you suddenly ask me that!?But it my parents refuse, next time….NO! But I'm going today!" The raven haired boy turned around, revealing his masculine features and cat like eyes._

" _Which one is it?" I listened intently, anticipating the answer._

" _I'll go! If it will help you from feeling lonely, then I'll be satisfied."_

" _What's with that?"_

"… _.." Onodera-kun stood silently shocked for a moment, then spoke again, bowing his head sadly, "Im sorry…yea. Me being with you won't change anything…sorry…..I'm annoying aren't I…?" The sound of his voice saddened my heart._

' _How could he be annoying? He was perfect. Everything about him was perfect. And if this guy can't see it then why the fuck is he wasting his time!? Okay, no! I just need to give this book back, and find out the relationship they have…only then will I know what the hell this ass of a guy is to Onodera-kun…'_

" _well, I think I'll just go home...thanks for helping me study-" The raven haired boy shut his book, cutting Onodera-kun's voice off with his own._

" _That's not what I meant." He pulled Onodera-kun's wrist, kissing him gently, as Onodera-kun rested his body on the shelve. I dropped the book on the floor, growing angrier by the second._

 _I officially hated this bastard._

' _He's stolen my lover…He's mine….He's mine. Okay, im hallucinating. This isn't happening! No way-I love him! He can't have him! NO! NO HE'S MINE!'_

 _I suddenly felt really nauseous. I ran out of there as quickly as I could, running to the nearest bathroom. I kicked opened a stall, retching into the toilet._

 _I fucking hate him…_

* * *

 **2:00 pm:**

Takano pulled into the parking lot of their apartment complex. Taking the keys out of the ignition and stepping out of the car. Ritsu unbuckled himself, and he too stepped out into the parking lot. Takano took the brunette's hand, pulling him towards the elevator. They hadn't said much throughout the 30 minute drive, which drove Ritsu crazy inside.

"Takano-san, about the plan…will you tell me more?" Takano pushed the number to their floor, silently holding Ritsu's hand.

"…" Ritsu shifted from foot to foot, fidgeting anxiously.

"Takano-san, I really want to know what you're planning. I really don't want to have to go through the same thing again…Takano-san…please…" Ritsu stared at the ground, digging his nails into the palm of his free hand.

"It's not a difficult one. And in all honesty, it's a risk." Ritsu blinked a few times, trying to wrap his head around the term 'risk.'

"How much of a risk?" Takano turned to the brunette, who opened his medication bottle and threw two pills into the back of his throat.

"Why are you carrying that thing around? And didn't you just take some at the park?" Ritsu turned away nervously, putting the medication bottle back in his pocket.

"Anyways, about the plan, what exactly are you saying by risk?" The elevator did a sudden 'DING.' And the two men stepped out into the hallway.

"You remember when we had sex in the library?" Takano pulled out his keys, as they came closer to the apartment door. Ritsu flushed, embarrassed at the question.

"N-no. I-I don't remember anything of the sort…."

"…Liar."

"B-besides what does that have to do with anything!?" Takano opened the apartment door, gently pushing Ritsu inside.

"Okay, in all honesty, after you confessed to me, I followed you around for a week." Ritsu shook his head, as he took off his shoes.

"W-what? What do you mean!?" Takano took off his shoes, walking down the hallway, Ritsu stumbling not far behind him to the couch.

"I mean exactly what I said. I followed you around for a week. I ditched class everyday for a week, and learned your schedule. And I learned some pretty interesting things." Takano took a seat on the couch, resting his arm over the top. Ritsu hesitantly sat on the couch, (with a good amount of space in between mind you).

"W-what d-did you learn…?" Takano stood abruptly, going into the bedroom for a minute, giving off the sounds of rustling papers and drawers being opened and closed. He came back to the living room area, flopping down right next to his lover, holding a piece of paper in hand. Ritsu stared at it blankly, then took it into his own.

"Monday: Oda Ritsu has Math first period. Overheard conversation of test scores with classmate named 'Haitani-san'-got B on exam- Oda is very popular-and apparently funny to a lot of people. Goes to library, and stares at me." Ritsu rolled his eyes at the last part, shooting darts in Takano's direction.

"Takano-san. I'm seriously not in the mood to read this crap." Takano chuckled, and took the paper back.

"Well you have to hear it, it's important to what im about to explain." Takano cleared his throat, continuing to read off of the list, "Tuesday: Oda is scared of animals apparently…though he tries to be nice and feed them. Got scratch by a cat today, dropped the food and ran. Followed him to music class….heard the most beautiful music with the voice of an angel. Same friend from day before hangs out with him most of the time. (gives him googlie eyes) Goes to library, reads, stalks me. Wednesday: Oda can speak five different languages….heard him myself. Japanese, French, German, Italian and English. Saw him run into three different things in less than five minutes today, very clumsy. Same friend from the last two days helped him up. Ends the day at the library. Thursday: Couldn't find him anywhere. Not a single place. Towards the end of the day, saw his friend crying into Oda's arms. Oda comforted him and said 'I'm sorry.' Then left. I assume he went home. Friday: I told him he was gross and annoying. Left but came back with two umbrellas….Saw his friend watch us, I wanted to hold his hand, so I tried. But failed when he ran away like an idiot. I glanced at the friend hiding, and went home."

Ritsu took the paper, scanning over it with his eyes. "Um, What did this guy look like?" Takano smirked, and kissed Ritsu's forehead.

"He's the one and only Haitani-san that I hate. And he's hated me ever since then. When I told you that his 'lover' had confessed to me a few years ago, I said that because I thought that you'd get the hint that it was really you who he was in love with. But…" Takano trailed off, gently gazing into Ritsu's eyes.

Ritsu's pale color tinted pink, and pouted. "But what!?" Ritsu impatiently awaited the answer. And Takano rolled his eyes, pulling out a cigarette.

"But because you're so dense, I knew I'd have to explain it to you eventually." Ritsu's eyes widened, causing an uprising of useless defense mechanisms.

"I am NOT dense! What the hell!? Besides, what exactly does this have to do with the plan?!" Takano fiddled with his unlit cigarette, before tossing it away in boredom.

"The point is, if you 'remember' him, he's attitude will change into the one he had in middle school. Not terrible, but not great. And at that point of the plan, you drop the bomb." Ritsu shifted in his seat, thinking about the plan.

"Um….uh….okay…but how does that help us at all? And what do you mean 'bomb?'" Takano sighed in annoyance, and rested his head on the top of the couch.

"Though I hate to have you say it, it must be said…" Takano stared at the ceiling, nibbling at his bottom lip. "You have to say those words…that I waited ten years to hear…"

* * *

 **Thanks for reading! Please give me some reviews! XD**


	13. Chapter 12:Filthy

Chapter 12: Filthy

 _There are people in this world who can never have what they want…there are people in this world, who are bound by their fate._

 _They say that you can control your fate, that you choose your destiny…but…these are just mere lies people tell children for comfort.._

 _Their damned lying facades….what do they know?_

 _Why does it seem like every time I get close to him, when all seems perfect…it gets shattered in a split second?_

 _I have my own secret…But,_

 _How can I decide what's right? How can I help Ritsu become stronger? I know what he's doing…I know what he's thinking…but it won't work…I can't stop myself from letting go. There's no way I let him do this to himself.._

 _I've already contacted the doctor. No more. I know the consequences that could come from this…but I also know the benefits._

 _This is the end of his lying facade…he's not filthy…_

 _And that is why I have to do this. Im sorry Ritsu-but this is for the best…_

* * *

 **2:30pm:**

Ritsu retched into the toilet, arms wrapped around the outside. Ritsu vomited nothing but acid again. But the disturbing feeling in his stomach made him want to retch even more, though there was nothing in there to begin with. Eating was a hassle. The very thought made his stomach hurt even more. Takano left about three minutes ago, saying he had something to do. And as soon as he left, Ritsu made him way to the bathroom in confusion, and vomited.

Ritsu wiped the saliva on his face off with a towel, and stared into the mirror. He stared at the paleness of his face, the bags under his eyes, the thin appearance he wore. He took out another medicine bottle, dumping five pain killers onto his hand.

Ritsu stared at them. Just staring for a moment, before swallowing them dry for the fourth time today. Ritsu looked at his face once more, the bruises were letting up, his busted lip went away just the other day. The deep cut on his forearm was still stitch up but didn't hurt as bad. Ritsu ran his fingertips over his cheek, then felt the old stab wound on his side.

 _I never wanted to be this way. The chemicals swivel through my body. The unbearable taste of it makes me crazy._

 _But I want more. I NEED more._

 _How could Takano love me? After he knows how filthy I am? That's why I do this…I have no choice. It's been like this for a week…I can't stop. It's like a drug. Everyday when he leaves, I go to get a refill. I can't help it._

 _The sensation. The bizarre taste. The high feeling I get when I take more than two…I have to do this…Takano will fall out of love with me this way. He will see how filthy I am so...so…..he will leave me…._

 _I want this._

 _I want him to leave._

 _I want to disappear. I am filthy. Seeing him sleep, reminds me…just how filthy I really am…and it pisses me off. I don't deserve Takano._

 _And it's all my fault….I couldn't stop Haitani-san…_

 _I was too weak. Too fucking weak…there's no way Takano loves me anymore. I just can't take it. I know he'll leave me either way…_

 _So I have to give him another reason to drop me, and move on with his life…maybe…Takano and I …_

 _Weren't meant…_

 _To live happily ever after….._

* * *

Takano slouched onto the pole in front of the café. He smoked a cigarette to pass the time quickly, so he could go back home to his beloved Ritsu. Takano checked his phone- _2:45pm_ -time was of the essence now.

Though he wasn't ever comfortable leaving Ritsu home alone-especially now-he had to do this. Maybe things would smooth themselves out better….

Or they could only rough together more…

Takano took one last drag before tossing his cigarette away. He blew out smoke, beginning to speak, "Took you long enough."

Haitani walked in front of him, hands in pockets, wearing the same smug look on his face. "Tsk, what do you want? I have things to do." Haitani lifted an eyebrow, not trying to hide the irritation in his voice as he spoke. Takano snorted, and but did not shift his face from the road before him.

"I know your secret."

"…secret? Sure, and which one would that be?" Haitani smirked, crossing his arms across his chest.

"I kiss the scars on his skin…I still think he's beautiful. Though on the other hand, you're just as ugly as before. Both inside and outside. It's no wonder he chose me over you in middle school." Takano shot a deathly look of anger towards Haitani, who exchanged one nonetheless.

"Tsk, you always were so cocky. Don't you remember the time you called him gross and annoying? Did you even bother to apologize? NO. You wanna know how I know that? Onodera-kun came to me that day, in tears, crying about how Saga-senpai called him gross and annoying. But you know what he said? He said, 'I never wanted to be this way….if I could ever be good enough for him…I would do anything. But I never will be…' And then it started to rain. I saw him grab to umbrellas, wipe the tears from his eyes and put a smile on his face. It was that moment I knew, he grabbed two umbrellas because you would've been to grossed out to share, wouldn't you?"

"…" Takano said nothing, only felt a flush of anger stir rapidly inside of him. Takano turned to leave, "He's MINE. You stay away from him…it's not his time. Cause I'm the one…who he wants to be with forever. And I want to be with him forever. If you loved him even half as much as I do, you wouldn't have tried to kill him. Stay away. And we'll forget about this whole ordeal." Takano started to walk away, as Haitani shouted out.

"I would…but…" He smiled, "I'm gonna be the one who will haunt his dreams _every_ night." Takano turned around , grabbing Haitani by the collar of his shirt, and landed a punch on his face.

"I FUCKING DARE YOU TO TRY!" Takano lost it. He felt all the anger and frustration rage out of his system. No matter how hard he resisted inside, the urge to kill Haitani on the spot was fairly difficult in and out of itself to manage.

Haitani smirked, grabbing Takano's collar into his hands, shoving him off of him. "You know," Haitani wiped his face where Takano punch him, and laughed under his breath. "Ritsu is so good in bed. It's no wonder after he ran away to England you couldn't fill the whole with anyone else." Takano flinched at the comment, throwing Haitani against the pole he leaned on earlier.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP! YOU DON'T KNOW SHIT ABOUT ME!" People around watched and whispered at the sudden outbursts. Haitani laughed in response, but said nothing, which pissed Takano off even more so. "What the fuck are you laughing at?!" Takano hissed, clenching onto Haitani's shirt harder.

"Yea, sure. I don't know. And I can personally say that I don't give a fuck." Haitani's smile grew wider and wider as he continued, "But I know _everything_ about Onodera-kun. And you don't. I've waited eleven fucking years to have him to myself. And just when I thought he was mine, he ran away to England shortly after. Everyone knows it's because of you. How do you think his mother knows? Why do you think the demand for him to marry that bitch is getting higher? Yes, it all goes back to you. BECAUSE ALL YOU EVER DO IS HURT HIM!" Haitani shoved Takano off of him, swinging a punch onto Takano's left cheek.

Takano stumbled backward, holding his cheek momentarily before stiffening into defense mode. "Is that how it is?" Haitani, surprised at the reaction, winced at the throbbing on his cheek.

".." Haitani stood dumbfound, contemplating on what to say next.

"..Ritsu…my precious Ritsu…" Takano smiled at the thought of him, hoping that telling his own secret wouldn't cause anymore pain…though…it would…he knew it would…but he had to have faith. It was the only thing he had right now…a thread of faith…

* * *

 **3:10pm:**

Ritsu flipped through another book, waiting for Takano to come home. He had to tell him something important…well, Takano had heard it VERY rarely….but…after a lot of thinking, he wanted to say it again. Just to let him know that before he becomes completely filthy.

 _Maybe we can be together…I just have to be good enough for him. I have to tell him! Tell him I love him! Yes, maybe we won't live happily ever after…but I can't see myself in a world without him…not again…_

 _I wanna be with him._

 _I want this. I want to be happy and be 'lovey-dovey'._

Takano opened the front door, slipping off his shoes quickly, and hurriedly walking into the living room. "Ritsu?" He called out, then noticing a figure coming out from the bedroom.

"Takano-san! I'm glad you're back. I-"

"Ritsu, I have something important to tell you." Takano blurted out, taking Ritsu and setting him down on the couch. Ritsu blinked a few times, and questioned Takano's tone. He sounded…nervous…or rather….scared…

"T-Takano-san….what is it?" Ritsu tried to relax on the couch, as Takano paced in front of him. "Takano…"

Takano took a seat slowly on the couch, nibbling at his thumb. "Ritsu, I have something important to tell you….my own…secret…" Ritsu felt a ton of emotions flash throughout his body.

Anxiety. Heartbreak. Anger. Selfishness. Eagerness. Desire. Sadness. SO many feelings, gathering together into his stomach, making him feel like downing another set of pills quickly and hid in a corner.

"Y-yes….?" He spoke, in almost a whisper. He was scared. Didn't know what to think. What to feel. What to say or do. What does someone do in this kind of situation? Did he not love him anymore? Did he feel nothing at all? Was he angry? Is it Haitani?

Ritsu bounced his leg impatiently, waiting for something. Anything at this point. The anxiety in his stomach couldn't handle another second of silence much longer.

"Ritsu…you see…." Takano didn't finish his sentence, only waited a few seconds before taking a deep breath before starting again. "Remember when you confessed the very first time? In the library…how nervous you were? I still remember the look on your face afterwards. You were like 'oh shit.'" Takano chuckled, holding his hands to his face, as his elbows rested on his knees. Ritsu lifted an eyebrow, slightly shaking his head in confusion. "I cheated on you…"

 _Filthy…._

Takano clenched his eyes shut, knowing what reaction Ritsu gave. Ritsu sat silently, eyes widened, and heart racing. He said nothing, only sat fidgeting.

"When we got together, I didn't feel anything for you. I just wanted to break that innocence you had…and take away that smile…and…even though I followed you around for a week…and we were together, I…." Takano didn't finish. He only turned to Ritsu who was listening carefully. Ritsu wore an unreadable expression. Hurt. Anger. Rejection. The look said nothing-but negativity.

 _Filthy…_

"I slept with someone else before I actually realized that I loved you. It was before you and I did it the first time. I was confused…and I didn't know what to do. I had already called you gross and annoying, and even though I felt something odd about being around you, I was stupid. I wanted it to go away…that day, when I called you gross and annoying, I saw Haitani there, drenched in rain, watching us. But I took your hand because I wanted to, not because I felt competition. Haitani knew I had cheated on you…which is why he confessed to you. He thought it would ease the pain when you found out. But even then, I couldn't find the right way to tell you that I made a mistake…"

 _Fucking Filthy….._

Ritsu sat with the same unreadable expression on his face, simply thinking about what was being said. Takano tried to take his hand, but Ritsu stood before he had the chance. Ritsu turned his back to Takano, and stared at the wall. The room was silent. No movements, just a light breathing from Takano.

Ritsu held his breath, trying to force his composure to stay together. Takano stood from the couch, turning Ritsu to face him. He held the brunette's face in his hands, gazing into the distancing eyes.

"Ritsu…I'm so sorry…I" Ritsu turned his head away, and headed down the hall. Takano felt his heart shatter at the sight.

Ritsu was leaving.

Ritsu slipped on his shoes, opening the door in front of him. Takano rushed to him, trying to stop him from disappearing again.

"Ritsu! Wait, please! Ritsu!" Takano took his hand, put Ritsu slapped it away, glaring Takano dead in the eye.

"It's Onodera to you. Nothing else. I'll see you at work. Goodbye." Takano stood frozen, as Ritsu slipped from his grasp once again. He stared at his lover heading to the elevator, watching as he pulled out his phone. He stepped into the elevator, staring at Takano. Ritsu spoke loud enough for Takano to hear from the apartment door.

"Hey, Haitani-san? I'll be there shortly. Sorry, but I can't wait for tonight." His voice trailed off, as the doors closed in front of him.

And Takano fell to his knees.


	14. Chapter 13: Stone cold

**HEY guys, so only two reviews last chapter :'( Come on guys where's the love? It's cool doe. I just like reviews cuz it helps me think better. This chapter is mostly flashbacks, and it has lemon. So…yea. Please skip it if you don't want to read the sex scenes. Thank you.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Sekaiichi Hatsukoi, we all know this. Don't ask questions, just go with it. XD Enjoy~ (please review!)**

* * *

Chapter 13: Stone Cold

 _I watched Saga sleep soundly in his bed. Our bodies exposed and entangled together, bed sheets messy and blankets covering us for warmth. I smiled to himself, taking pictures in my mind of this moment._

 _Saga looked so sweet, so innocent…so peaceful…_

 _In all honesty, I never know how he's really feeling, let alone what he's thinking. He's very quiet, and he never smiles or laughs…how cold…_

 _I'm starting to think that Saga-senpai doesn't love me…and he probably never will. Right now im simply hanging on a small thread of hope that the possibility will change. But…what will it take for me to be good enough for Senpai?_

 _I gave him my virginity, I gave him all my time, I get in trouble by my parents everyday just to make sure he's content…I love Saga-Senpai…I love you…._

 _So cold….._

 _I traced the structure of his face with my index finger softly-so soft, it's barely touching at all. The shape of his nose, the bone structure of his cheek bones and chin, his lips…his eyelids…_

 _What a cruel thing to do Senpai…So cruel….I love you so much, I feel my heart burst just by watching you read, sleep….just being there, I cant help but dwell on the thought that you will never be mine for good…_

 _So in the morning…im going to ask you…im going to ask you if you love me….please. Please. Please._

" _Senpai…please fall in love with me.."_

 _The next morning, I found my heart rate and blood pressure raging. I wanted to ask so bad, so desperately. It was Saturday._

 _No school. Just here. Me and Saga-Senpai._

 _I woke up to a chilly breeze from the window, and sat up quietly. Saga-senpai was gone. I glanced around the room, rubbing my eyes from a small blur._

" _Senpai?.." I called out in a small voice. I heard no response. Deciding on getting out of bed, I swung my legs out from underneath the warmth of the blankets. I blushed as I noticed I had nothing on. I quickly picked up my scattered clothes on the floor, throwing them on as quickly as possible._

 _I buttoned up my pants, attempting to button up my shirt when I saw him come in. I blushed and looked down at the ground. "S-S-Saga-Senpai, excuse me. I should've gotten up earlier. Forgive me." I didn't look up from the ground. And he said nothing, as always…_

 _Stone cold…._

 _He took a seat on the bed next to me, cupping my cheek lightly. He lifted my chin, as my eyes met his. My heart raced. I thought it was going to burst into a million pieces. Should I ask? Should I not? Maybe he does love me….Or maybe,_

 _He doesn't… I have to ask…this is my chance…this is my chance to find out if I'm worth something to senpai._

 _He stared at me. I could feel his eyes watching me intently. This made me all the more nervous. I felt his other hand lift to cup my other cheek, as I avoided eye contact with him. Ask him! Ask him now!_

 _Saga-Senpai leaned in, his soft lips brushing against mine once again. They weren't just soft, they were like a newly woven fabric, silky and flawless…I could feel his tongue lick lightly, asking for entrance. I gave permission, slowly feeling the wet, leathering presence invade my mouth. I could feel his hands on my cheek, cupping gently, one hand traveling down my back, gripping my shirt._

 _I subconsciously leaned back down onto the bed slowly, Senpai's hand holding me at the arch of my back. Our legs entangled, his body pressing firmly onto mine. I felt myself accidently moan into the kiss; his tongue almost fighting for dominance. Senpai pulled away, only barely, nibbling at my bottom lip._

 _My body's going limp again. I can't breathe. I can't think. I want to ask…but what is it that I wanted to know again…? I can't remember…_

 _My thoughts are all muddled up again. My mind's becoming empty. I can feel a tightness arouse between my legs. How does he do this to me? Just one touch, and I'm done. I give in so easily. I'm pathetic aren't i?_

 _But if this is what Senpai wants…then I have no problem complying._

 _Senpai's lips pull away from mine, and I feel his breath on my neck. A small bite, a lick, and a tongue sucking onto my skin between his lips. What do I do? What do I do now….? Why can he do this to me…and yet I can't do the same for him?_

 _I moan at the bite, as his kisses travel down my chest. He pushes his member against mine…it feels so good. So, so nice. Am I the only one who feels this way?_

 _Saga slips off my pants once again, running his cool fingertips over my thigh. I see him bite his lip, and slip his hands onto my thighs, holding them in his grasp. His lips kiss around my abdomen. I clenched onto the sheets, biting my lip as he tossed off his pants. He grinded against me, licking my nipple and playing with the other._

 _His hands continued to wander around, eventually making their way towards my boxers. He slipped them off, taking my erection into his hand, stroking it between his palm._

" _Do you like that?" He whispered into my ear, licking my neck. I nodded, and whispered a 'yea'-probably inaudible. My heart always raced…raced into hyper speed….he was like a drug. Every kiss. Every touch. Every small, unnoticeable smile...he makes me so happy…_

 _But do I do as much for him…?_

 _He let go of my erection, pecking me on the lips and then suddenly sucking me off. Oh the pleasure…I put a hand into his hair, holding it firmly, but not enough to pull-although I felt so good. His tongue and mouth worked its way on my shaft, up and down, up and down, up and down…_

" _S-senpai…aarggh!" I moaned louder, gripping the bed sheets between my fingers. "AAHHH," I shut my eyes, throwing my head back in pleasure. God, he turns me on…so much, I can't control myself._

" _Lift your hips, Ritsu." Saga-Senpai flipped me over onto my stomach suddenly, and I prepared myself for what was coming. He lifted my hips towards his erection, and I gripped the bed sheets even tighter, and placed a hand on the wall before me._

 _He pushed inside, whispering lightly, but I can't hear him. I just moan as I feel him thrusting deep inside of me. I dig my nails into the wall, clenching the sheets till my knuckles are white._

" _AARRGGHH, S-Senpai...AAhh!" He kissed my back, reaching for my erection and thrusting in harder and harder each time._

" _Say my name." He spoke into my ear, almost sounding like he was begging. "Say Masamune." His hand pumped my member quickly, and I squeezed my eyes shut at the pleasure._

" _M-Masamune!" I called out, cuming onto the messy sheets underneath us. He held his breath, filling me up with his seed. Our breathing was hard. Both gasping for breath and silently begging for more. I opened my eyes half-way, feeling him pull out and turn me around. He held my waist, and pulled me into m arms as he dropped onto the bed._

 _We stayed like that for a long time, then eventually put our garments back on. I have to ask. This time, im gonna ask. It's time._

" _S-Senpai…we're…going out….right?"_

" _what?"_

 _I hesitated…maybe I shouldn't have asked. Do I even wanna know the answer….? Yes-Ritsu Onodera, you've waited this long to hear Senpai say those three words. So just say it…_

" _It's just that, you never say anything…" He looked at me, and I closed the gap between my shirt that exposed my chest, almost guarding my heart for the worst. This is it. This is what you've been waitingfor. You can't turn back now…_

" _.."_

" _Um Senpai…? Um….How do you feel about me….?" I looked down, heart pounding madly. This is insane. He must feel something for me…right?_

 _I looked up, and saw him lift his hand to hide his laugh._

 _Asshole._

 _I stood abruptly, he was just fucking playing me!_

 _Asshole._

 _I swung my leg around, knocking him off the bed with a hard force. He fell onto the floor, holding his face. He opened his mouth to speak, but I took off before he spoke._

 _Asshole!_

 _I ran as fast as I could out of there. Taking my shoes and coat. I buttoned up my shirt as I ran. I didn't care who saw me. I heard him calling out to me, but I said nothing. I didn't turn around._

 _Fucking filthy bastard….you'll pay for this.._

 _This is the last time…_

 _YOU MAKE A FOOL OUT OF ME!_

* * *

Haitani made his way to the bar Ritsu promised to meet him at. It was barely Four o'clock. He decided to take an early leave, knowing exactly why Onodera called him out in the first place. This was even better than what he imagined. Everything was falling into place. He didn't even need to call the police or use Ikuto or An-Chan. Takano fucked his own plan up with a stupid little secret that Onodera already knew about….

He just burned it out of his memory. He may have walked out, but there was no guarantee that he would do anything or forgive Takano in the first place. No way-he was too jaded for that. Haitani walked down the street, thinking about the earlier conversation with Takano.

*flashback*

" _Ritsu….my precious Ritsu…" Takano stood, eyes saddened at the thought of Ritsu's pain. Haitani took advantage of this moment, seizing it in his grasp. He smirked, and spoke slyly,_

" _I bet you haven't told him…have you?" Haitani bore his eyes into Takano's, raging in anger. "I bet you never will tell him…because you're a coward. You are a manipulative asshole who couldn't care less about what you've done and how it could affect Onodera-kun. How selfish. Of course, I already knew you would never have the balls to tell the truth. That's too bad.." Haitani stretched out his arms, yawning in boredom._

 _Takano watched him, knowing his scheme. "What the hell are you trying to say? I could tell him now if I fucking wanted to." Takano stared annoyingly, glaring at Haitani's smirk. He just wanted to slap the damn thing off._

" _Ha, well why don't you eat those words? You say if you wanted to…but you don't want to do you? Because you don't know what Onodera-kun will do. But I know what he'll do. I know exactly what he'll do."_

" _tsk, and what's that then? You can't predict what someone will do. That's inevitable. What a stupid thing to say." Takano turned away, preparing himself to head home. Haitani turned towards his company door, eyes not averting from Takano._

" _Let's prove it than. If you tell you're little secret, and Onodera-kun doesn't show up at the bar, I'll forget this whole ordeal and never intrude in your life again."_

 _Takano's back continued to face Haitani, "What's the catch?" Haitani took a few steps towards the door, placing a hand on the knob to enter._

" _If Onodera-kun rejects or leaves you, then I win. And you lose. Which means, you have to give up on him completely him if he doesn't show back up by 7 pm. I'll be on the line when you tell him. If you don't pick up, I'll be the automatic winner." Haitani opened the door, smirking his way partially inside. "Oh and one more thing….if he doesn't show back up, then you loose all contact with him. His parents will move him back to Onodera Publishing and he'll marry An-chan. Let's face it, you may 'love' him and I may be infatuated with him, but in the end, neither of us deserve him."_

Haitani stepped into the bar, watching Ritsu, who hadn't noticed him. ' _I think I'll just watch what you do for a minute…'_

 _I am happy…I am happy…_

 _You see me standing…but im falling apart inside….maybe if I don't cry…maybe if I pretend, I won't feel pain anymore…._

 _I can't believe this….it's over. It's really over…after all the chasing-all the battles, all the pain of remembrance, all the sacrifices, all the disgrace…_

 _He's the filthy one…_

 _Not me…_

 _NOT ME._

 _I thought I….i though I was your ember…._

 _But it looks like selfishness is your shade of gold…_

 _It looks like fate wasn't on either of our sides…we don't belong. We weren't meant to live happily ever after…_

 _And I don't love you…._

Ritsu sniffled, staring at his phone as it rang on the table. He forced back the tears as they tried to pry out of his emerald's. Ritsu stared at the caller id, Takano again. This was probably the twentieth call in a row.

"Maybe I should go back…" Ritsu sipped at his beer, leaning his head against the back of the seat. "I already knew that…Takano-san, I knew already knew that you made a mistake…but…" Ritsu shut his eyes, letting a tear slip from his tight hold. "But I don't think I can forgive you…"

* * *

Takano hung up the phone after leaving another voicemail. He sat on his couch, unable to jeopardize the situation. He wasn't allowed to try to convince him or anything…but how could he help it? The love of his life just walked out on him for the second time in his life….

What if he never came back? What if he realizes that this was just too much? What if he decides that he will leave again? What if..

What if..

What if…

Takano stood from the couch, pacing throughout his apartment. He headed into the bedroom, staring at the unmade bed. He imagined Ritsu sitting there, blushing a hot mess, probably trying to look busy by messing with his clothes…

He could just see him. Reading on the couch, breaking a cup in the kitchen, leaving a water puddle in the bathroom after a shower….

Takano looked around the bedroom-and into the living room from the doorway. It was then when he realized,

His whole world was revolved around Onodera Ritsu…

His scent lingered on the bed sheets and pillows. His pissy attitude flew throughout the hallway from his protests. His tears fell onto the floor, flooding it up to it's baseboards. His peacefulness when he slept made it's way throughout the apartment, the books he read scattered near the shelf…the grumbling of his stomach at the table, the frown he wore at medicine time, the heat of blush appearing on his face in the most touching ways….everything here, was no longer Takano Masamune…

It was Masamune,

And Ritsu….

* * *

 **Please Review! ~thanks!~**


	15. Chapter 14: Past the point of no return

Chapter 14: Past the point of no return

* * *

 **4:15 pm:**

Haitani strode towards the tipsy Ritsu, who sat silently alone. "Onodera-Kun," He did a small wave, and sat across from Ritsu. He studied the drunk, who sat still and awkwardly. Ritsu felt light headed. It seems like the alcohol was getting to him.

 _I shouldn't have drank that much….now what if something happens and I need to run? Oh Onodera Ritsu, you never learn do you?_

"Um, Haitani-san," Ritsu began, resting his head on his hands, "I'm sorry." Haitani cocked an eyebrow, slightly turning his head,

"Sorry for what exactly?" Haitani didn't attempt to hide his irritation in his voice. "You've come here for what? To apologize? Look, I didn't come here to be rejected-" Haitani stopped when Ritsu stared into his eyes with his sad, jaded emeralds.

"You didn't let me finish." Ritsu sipped the last of his beer, continuing after setting it back onto the table. "I'm sorry for not recognizing you before. When I fled to England all those years ago, I left you all on your own. And I should've stayed for you at least. But I was selfish. And I didn't want to face the facts or the reality of the situation. And I'm sorry for that too."

Haitani sat quietly, thoughts beginning to race rapidly; Ritsu began again after a few silent seconds, "I've come here…hardly knowing the reason why. I know you confessed to me, twice. Once back then, and once just about a week ago. I know you've kept you're wish silent, until you couldn't anymore. So I can understand why you did what you did to me. It's not just revenge anymore is it? It's a bitter sweet desire that you have succumb to." Ritsu stood from the booth, and turned from Haitani to the exit. "There's no going back now. Right or wrong, love or lust, I only have one question."

"And what would that be?" Haitani stood, standing behind Ritsu.

"How long until we're one?"

* * *

 **4:45 pm:**

Takano found himself all over town in search of Ritsu. Every bar. Every club. Hell, host clubs. Work. Haitani's work. But no one seemed to know where either of them were. Takano thought back to the plan. They agreed that Ritsu would meet at the bar near Haitani's place. It made sense, given that the plan was supposed to be a successful one and not bombarded by a road block in their relationship.

Takano pulled out his phone, reopening the message from Haitani about 15 minutes ago.

 **From: Haitani**

 **To: Takano**

 _Hey there. I see little Ritsu. He looks so sad and drunk. I'm wondering where we can go so that he can decide whether or not it's you or me. The clock's ticking Saga. Precious Oda won't be in your life if he can't make it home by seven. Change of plans I guess. Oh well, looks like there is no such thing as happily ever after. I don't think we'll be seeing much of each other after tonight. After all, I think Onodera-Kun's made up his mind._

Takano drove quickly, tossing his phone onto the dashboard and flouring the gas.

 _I've waited this long-there's no way in hell I'll let some bastard take you away from me…NEVER._

* * *

 **5:15 pm:**

Ritsu wrapped his legs around Haitani's waist, grapping on roughly as he felt his body flop onto the bed. Haitani bit his neck, searching for the urge to stop. But he didn't want to stop. Ritsu was actually willing. For the first time in their lives he was the one who was going to make love to him, not Takano or anyone else. For this moment, he was his. And only his.

And there was no turning back now….

Ritsu pulled Haitani's hair, as his lips moved around his collar bone and chest. Haitani straddled his waist, slowly opening his shirt to bare skin. "I want you, Onodera-kun."

 _My prey._

Ritsu bit his lip, clenching onto the other's shoulders.

 _You're right….i've…_

Haitani squeezed Ritsu's hips, sucking erotically on his nipple.

 _I've been silent…but I've succumbed to you…dropped all my defenses….and I…this…_

Ritsu moaned lightly as Haitani grinded their lower bodies together. "Onodera-kun."

… _This is…sweet seduction…so sweet…I can't stop…not now.._

"What?" he whispered, sitting himself on Haitani's lap. He licked and nibbled around Haitani's neck, "what is it?"

 _No second thoughts. I've decided. Our games of make believe are at an end…._

Haitani moaned at the action, falling onto his back. He pulled Ritsu's body closer to his, placing a sloppy kiss onto his lips. Their tongues wrestled, almost fighting one another.

 _I've decided._

BANG. BANG. BANG.

Ritsu pulled his mouth away from Haitani's, sitting upright at the noise. "what the hell?" Haitani sat up, as Ritsu headed to the door, to peek his head out from the bedroom.

"Haitani! Open up! I know you're here!" Takano's voice echoed through the apartment, sending shivers down Ritsu's spine. He stood frozen in the doorway, unable to run to or away from the door. Haitani stole a glance at Ritsu, and took his arm.

"W-what are you doing?" Ritsu stuttered, glancing from the door to Haitani several times. Haitani said nothing, only shoved Ritsu into the closet, slamming it shut and locking it.

Ritsu sat quietly, he didn't really want to see Takano. But he really did at the same time. He heard Haitani and Takano's voices faintly, which made him a nervous wreck emotionally. He pulled out the last two pills in his pants pocket.

 _You're the only thing that loves me._

Ritsu popped them into his mouth, listening as footsteps and shouting could be heard. He wiggled himself into a corner, as the shouting got louder and louder.

"Where the fuck is he?!" Takano hissed, glancing all around the apartment. Haitani smirked but said nothing. He took a seat on the couch, watching as Takano's bickering continued.

"Look, I know where he is, but he doesn't want to see you, so why don't you run home." Haitani shrugged and made his way into the kitchen for a glass of water. Takano stood silently momentarily, trying to keep his cool.

"Haitani, this is the final threshold, I want Ritsu. And I want him now." Takano demanded, kicking over a coffee table in the living room to obtain Haitani's attention. Haitani set down his glass, and headed towards the closet.

He held his hand on the doorknob, "Did you think that I would harm him? If you want him, fine, but I guess we'll have to see if he wants you." Haitani unlocked the door, dragging Ritsu out forcefully. Takano smiled of relief inside, attempting to pull Ritsu into an embrace.

Ritsu smacked his arms away, pulling himself a good distance between Haitani and Takano. "Leave me alone." Takano, emotions raging, pulled Ritsu towards him.

"Ritsu. I said I was sorry. It was ten years ago! Please, what are you doing? I love you." Takano stared at him sadly, desperately, pleadingly. And Ritsu stood there. Cold as ice. He wore no expression. Just a blank stare. His emeralds bore into the depths of Takano's soul, but never faltered in making him feel insignificant.

"Looks like Onodera-kun doesn't want you." Haitani smirked at his own statement, watching as Takano's composure slowly began to fail. He turned to Ritsu, who was fidgeting and avoiding with anyone at this point. "Onodera-kun, you're lover makes such a passionate plea. But I think it's time I take over." He grabbed Ritsu's left arm, tugging it roughly to the bedroom. Takano grabbed ahold of the other, trying to keep him away from Haitani.

"Fuck you Haitani!" He looked at Ritsu, who was caught in the middle, and spoke softer, "Ritsu, I love you. Does that mean nothing? I love you. Haitani! Show some compassion!" Haitani tugged again, causing a small stumble from the confused Ritsu.

"The world showed no compassion to me! Why the fuck would I help you!?" He looked at Ritsu with desire, "Onodera-kun, please, you know if you take him back he'll only hurt you more." Ritsu stood confused, shaking his head 'no.'

"Damnit, Ritsu, listen to me. You know I only hurt you on accident. Please forgive me. I should've just told you how I felt but i-"

"Onodera-kun! Don't listen! He's a liar and a cheater. They never change! Spend a life with me! Say that you love me, and I promise I'll protect you!" Haitani pulled harder, as did Takano, who had Ritsu gazing into his eyes.

"Ritsu, say you love him and I swear I'll just die…my life will end.."

"I…I.."

"RITSU!"

"ONODERA-KUN!"

"I…ah…um…..i…Takano-san…."

"Ritsu. Ritsu please forgive me." Takano begged, and Ritsu's attention turned to Haitani who was shouting over Takano's voice.

"It's too late Onodera-kun! You've made your choice! Haven't you!? HAVEN'T YOU!?"

 _The tears I held for your sad fate, are ice, and they aren't of pity any longer…_

"Ritsu please, if you say you love him, I don't know what I'll do." Takano clenched onto Ritsu's arm tightly, tugging for dominance, as Haitani pulled harder and harder, shouting over Takano's pleas and shouts.

Both Takano and Haitani spoke at the same time. Their words became muddled up together, and Ritsu's head began to spin.

 _We had such hopes, but now those hopes are shattered._

"For either way he has to win!" They both screamed, trying to get Ritsu's wandering attention. Ritsu pulled his arms away from both men, and took a step backwards. He stood dazed, listening to the echo's of their words, circling and circling and circling.

"You….you both…deceived me…." Ritsu muffled out from oncoming sobs, holding his sleeve to his mouth. Takano and Haitani stood impatiently.

Haitani grabbed Ritsu's hair, "You try my patience. Make your choice!" He threw him onto the ground and Takano leaped forward at Haitani, tackling him into the same position.

"Don't you dare touch him!" Takano socked him angrily, and Haitani pushed him off with one back. Ritsu held his head in agony, sobbing immensely.

"Onodera-Kun, just turn around and face it! Face fate already! An eternity of me is better than a cheating asshole!" Takano threw Haitani onto his back,

"It's in your soul that the real distortion lies Haitani! Ritsu! Please, listen. Just listen to my voice. I've fought for you for a long time. And I've fought so hard to find you…to free you…Ritsu." Haitani grabbed a piece of glass from the broken coffee table, and held it to Takano's stomach.

"It's too late! No use resisting! This is the point of no return Onodera! Either you end your days with me, or Takano fucking dies!" Takano wrapped his hands around Haitani's neck, preparing to strangle him merciless. Ritsu sat silently, but in horror. He cupped his hand over his mouth, trying to hold back his sobs.

"I…i.." Haitani and Takano watched as Ritsu's eyes poured tears agonizingly. "I gave you both my mind…my body…my soul…I gave them to you blindly." He spoke in between sobs, and wiped away some of the drying tears that still rested on his cheeks. He crawled over to Takano and Haitani, gently pushing them off of each other.

Takano took his hands away, waiting for Ritsu's next move. Haitani sat up, still holding the glass in his hand.

Ritsu gave Takano one last look, then turned his attention to Haitani. He cupped Haitani's cheeks gently, giving a small kiss of passion upon his lips.

"Haitani-san….you're so cruel," he whispered, "what kind of life have you known?..." Haitani and Takano sat in shock, listening to Ritsu's words and breaking at his actions. "Because you…are not alone.." Ritsu kissed him again, slipping his tongue into his mouth for a passionate kiss, eager to save his lover's life, and urging to throw it away.

 _God give me strength…_

* * *

 **Please Review! And this was inspired by "the past of no return (reprise)" from Phantom of the opera. If you have never heard it, look it up, then this chapter appeals more to the feels XD Once again, Please Review. It helps me think! Thank you! Until next time! 3**


	16. Chapter 15: let go

**Last chapter guys! Please review your final thoughts! 3**

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Chapter 15: Let go

 _It's those times when you are rejected, lied to or cheated on that your realize that you aren't as strong as you thought you were. It's those times when people say that they mean something and they really don't, and you find out the hard way-first hand._

 _In my short lifetime, I've broken many hearts. But I've only been broken by one. And yet I can distinguish what is different between him and the others. Sometimes I wonder, why I have to feel this way. If love didn't exist, than these feelings wouldn't clench together painfully in my chest._

 _People come and they go. People break, bend and fall. People betray, love and long. But do they REALLY want to be loved and wanted? If so, why do they let themselves waste away into the depths of despair when they are hurt?_

 _Mothers are supposed to teach their children to be considerate, caring and loving. Fathers are supposed to teach them to work hard and to be strong, never faltering in faith. But in reality,_

 _That shit never happens._

* * *

" _Onodera-kun, what's wrong?" I stood at his front door, waiting for him to look up. Suddenly calling me up in tears, I couldn't help but run over here in pursuit of rescue. Onodera-kun stood still, and slowly raised his emeralds to meet my eyes. Tears peeked from the corners of them, and I watched painfully as he wiped them away with his sleeve._

" _Um, I'm sorry, I just….it's just…" His bottom lip quivered, and small, choking sobs came out. I shook my head sadly, and pulled him into a light embrace. I felt his body tremble from his despair, and it shook me to the core._

" _Onodera-kun, please, tell me what happened." I spoke gently, and petted his silky locks between my fingers. We stood silently for a few moments, before he forced out words in between quiet sobs._

" _I thought he'd be happy…I try so hard to make him happy…" He buried his face in my chest; I said nothing, only waited for him to continue. "I brought Senpai a book that he and I were talking about a few days ago…I waited for three hours." He clenched his fingers around the fabric of my uniform, and choked out more words. "He said I was annoying, and gross."_

 _I looked at Onodera-kun, who's eyes seemed to be getting darker and darker every time I saw them. He looked up at me, I tried to find something to say. But my thoughts were raging. I wanted to cry. I wanted to cry so bad; I wanted to hold him in my arms forever and tell him that I love him. I wanted to kiss him then and there, only us revolving in the world. And most of all,_

 _I wanted to destroy Saga._

" _Onodera-kun, why…why are you putting yourself through this? You saw him take that girl home the other day and yet you still want him? Please, don't hurt yourself more. You and I both know that Saga is only going to hurt you!"_

 _He was silent for a moment, and softly replied, "You're right…" I grew angry inside. Every time I give a lecture about Saga, he says, 'you're right,' and agrees. But he never lets go. Does he honestly believe that Saga will love him back?...that's like me actually obtaining his heart-and I know it'll never happen. "It doesn't hurt," I heard him whisper, almost inaudible._

 _Those words…. Those fucking words 'it doesn't hurt,' killed me. A thousand, gruesome deaths. Over and Over. How can it not hurt? How can you lie to yourself so much that you are willing to do anything for that person? Even I know when to give up…._

 _The sky began to imitate the mood, and rain started to pour onto the pavement. Onodera-kun looked at the sky, and did a sad smile. "I never wanted to be this way….if I could be good enough for him…I'd do anything.." He turned around into the house, leaving me outside for a few seconds, when he came back with three umbrellas. I watched him as he opened one up, and gave it to me. "I'll see you at school. Thank you for comforting me. But I have something to take care of.." His voice trailed off, and I took the umbrella reluctantly._

" _You're going to take him one, aren't you?..." It came out angrier than I meant it to, but how could I not be upset? But that's the thing about Onodera Ritsu. He's so complicatedly simple minded. And once he sets his mind to something…._

 _He does it. No matter the difficulty. And maybe, just maybe…._

 _Saga will love him twice as much as Onodera loves him…just maybe…_

" _Yea, be safe. I'll call you later." He closed his front door, as he ran towards the direction of the school. But I didn't want to go home, I wanted to know what Saga would do. So I will go there too, just to be safe…_

* * *

 _I could see them standing just outside the locker room doors. Onodera hung his head, and kept his own distance from Saga. As always, Saga wore that stupid blank expression, like he was too cool for feelings, and didn't even bother to say thank you! Asshole._

 _He glanced my way, and I made sure to look casual, not awkward or stalker-ish…he probably didn't even see me, but I felt like he had. He turned his attention to Onodera-Kun, and took his hand. I was going to protest immediately, but Onodera-kun started to freak out…._

 _I slightly laughed, trying to keep it bottled up so I wouldn't catch their attention. I could see Saga just standing there like the boring person he was, just watching with a super confused look._

" _AAAHHHHH! Um-S-Senpai, H-have a safe w-walk! B-BYE!" Onodera-kun ran off down the street, screaming in happiness and excitement. I chuckled, and watched as Saga shrugged, heading off as well. Though I felt jealous…_

 _I knew…_

 _Deep down…._

 _They were bound by fate._

* * *

Takano's heart shattered at the sight before him. He stared in shock as Ritsu kissed Haitani passionately. Had he really chosen the man who tried to kill him, over the man who loved him enough to die for him? Takano's heart raced unsteadily. He felt like he was about to have an anxiety attack. Was this really the end for them? If so, why had fate chosen to be so cruel? Why had it taken the one thing he cared for, for ten years, then suddenly bringing him back into his life? If fate didn't want them together, why did it let this happen? Why did Ritsu suddenly become his subordinate? Why had they both have to suffer all over again, getting together, ready to love, than suddenly having it taken from them once again? It didn't make sense.

And if it made any kind of sense, why did it happen at all? Did he really deserve this torture?

Takano bit his lip tightly, desperately wanting to pull Ritsu away, but unable to move. Ritsu pulled his lips away, wrapping his arms around Haitani. Haitani sat in complete shock. He was just as caught off guard as Takano, and their eyes met, both wide, and confused.

 _My prey…_

Haitani gently pushed Ritsu off of him, saddening at what he was about to do.

 _I've poisoned my chance…it's only fear and loathing I'm getting…_

He took Ritsu's hand, and kissed the back of it softly.

 _Pity comes to late…._

He kissed it several times, lips quivering from the unbearable agony.

 _I've turned around, and I've faced my fate…_

He pulled Ritsu into a tight embrace, swallowing the oncoming tears.

 _This is the end….isn't it…?_

"Ritsu….I love you…." The tears crawled down his cheeks, dropping onto his pants. Ritsu and Takano stared sadly, not saying anything. He pushed Ritsu away once more, crying uncontrollably at this point. "Thank you, for teaching me how to love….but," Haitani wiped some of the tears streaming down his face away, then sadly smiled at Takano. "But you two…really are…meant to be…" Ritsu's eyes widened, and turned to face Takano. Takano smiled happily, tears falling slowly. He stood, holding his hand out to Ritsu.

Ritsu bit his lip, and turned his attention back to Haitani. He held his face, and gently kissed his cheek. "Haitani-san….thank you." He whispered, and stood from the ground. Takano pulled Ritsu into an embrace, and they headed towards the door. Takano gave one glance to Haitani, and they exchanged forgiveness and equality with one look. Neither said anything, for their looks said it all.

Haitani smiled as Takano turned to the door, where Ritsu waited silently. Haitani watched, as Takano picked Ritsu up, spinning him around in delight. Takano chuckled, and planted a firm kiss onto Ritsu's lips. The two left the apartment, leaving Haitani alone.

* * *

 _I've learned not to be selfish. Made some wrong turns…once or twice…but I've learned that that's alright…_

 _I see now that if he didn't love the way his hair curls and dishevels so easily or his nose wrinkling when he laughs, then I wouldn't have let him go…_

 _If he didn't see Onodera-kun as a fucking masterpiece, then I wouldn't have let him go, because I do see him like that.._

 _I've learned not to be selfish. Because if he didn't love the way Onodera-kun sneezed, or the way he's always dribbled toothpaste down his chin, then I wouldn't have let him go._

 _If I knew that his heart didn't almost burst out of his chest when he wakes up and sees him lying in his arms, then I wouldn't have let him go._

 _Because I would kill for that…_

 _I guess, being with someone when you know they don't love you is cruel. It's not just cruel-no. It's holding them back from that one person who makes THEIR heart race. From that someone who would give them everything. Someone who feels the waves breaking in their ribs when they see that person walk, talk, or laugh…Someone who has had the worst days but has a bright sky and rainbow when they think of them. Someone who hears the sound of their voice and it soothes them to the deepest depths of their nightmares._

 _I realize that that is not me. It could NEVER be me. That person is Takano Masamune. He can give him everything. And he's always had Onodera-kun's heart. Always. How cruel would it be to let myself be selfish and keep Onodera stuck in a box of fear and pity?_

 _That's selfish. So I've let him go._

 _He is wonderful. He is fucking magic. And He deserves someone who believes that every single fucking day._

 _If you find someone who checks up on you often, who makes you smile, who watches out for you and wants the absolute best for you, then don't let them go. Even though I thought that if i messed with fate enough, Ritsu Onodera would be mine. But I took his kindness and compassion for granted. People like him are hard to find.._

 _But that was selfish too._

 _And if I loved him half as much as Takano,_

 _I'd let him go…._

* * *

Takano held Ritsu tightly, as they slept peacefully together on the bed. Ritsu turned to Takano, staring at his long lashes that gently pressed themselves upon his cheeks. Ritsu smiled, wiggling himself out of Takano's grasp, heading to the bathroom.

He closed the door softly, staring at himself in the mirror. He saw Onodera Ritsu. But not just Onodera Ritsu. It was Oda Ritsu.

Ritsu smiled sadly, placing his hand on the mirror. Oda mimicked his actions, also giving a small, sad smile. They studied each other silently, not moving or speaking. Ritsu watched himself, noticing that though he was still pale, still in physical pain, still thinner…he was alive. And he was alive with the one person he lived for.

Takano Masamune.

Emerald eyes on both sides of the mirror widened, and faces flushed at the sight of Takano in the doorway. Takano smiled, and wrapped his arms around Ritsu from behind.

"You're wrong." Takano kissed Ritsu's cheek, and kept a gentle smile on his face. Ritsu didn't turn his head, but stared at them in the mirror. But it wasn't them. It was Oda and Saga.

Ritsu shook his head confused, and turned to Takano who held his cheek. "We're not them anymore. And Ritsu, you're perfect the way you are now. You're perfect to me." He turned Ritsu's body around, holding him close to his chest. Ritsu stared into his eyes, and turned back to the mirror.

It was just them. Takano Masamune and Onodera Ritsu.

He turned his eyes back to Takano, who studied him lovingly. "Ritsu, with or without you're flaws, I love you the way you are. I know you think you're misunderstood, mistaken or unimportant, but you're none of those things. You're perfect. And I love you." Takano kissed Ritsu's forehead, and lifted his chin. "Well get through you're addiction. And we'll face your parents and An-chan head on. I know it's a tough road ahead of us…but I want to be with you through all of that."

Ritsu stared in awe, shocked, happy and relieved at the same time. He smiled widely, and hugged Takano's waist. "I love you, Masamune."

"I love you too Ritsu." Takano kissed his head, and turned back to the bedroom. "Come on back to bed." Takano left into the bedroom, leaving Ritsu in the bathroom alone once again.

Ritsu looked back into the mirror, and studied his reflection once again. "Goodbye Oda Ritsu. I realize now why you keep popping up. So thank you…."

Ritsu turned off the light and headed back to the bed where Takano lay.

 _Thank you for teaching me,_

He crawled underneath the covers, curling up into Takano's warmth.

 _That love never fails…_

* * *

 **The end!~**

 **(ENDING CREDITS: fucking perfect by P!nk)** **listen to it if you want to relate the ending of the story better., This song helped me write the ending. So thank you pink! XP**

 **Thank you for reading and following/favoring my story! I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did writing it. Please write you're final thoughts in the reviews or inbox me. I thank you for following as I wrote and giving me credit and your time. Thank you guys so much. If it weren't for you, this story would be nothing. Love you guys! Until my next story! Bye Bye! 3 XD**


	17. Chapter 17:note

Just wanted to let everyone know that there is a second part to secrets! So hope you are ready for that soon! I'll let you know when it comes out and what the title will be! I look foward to working with you all again! Until then!


	18. Chapter 18:sequel is out

Hey guys! Just wanted to tell you that as of right now, the sequel to Secrets is out! It's called Memento Mori. Look for it! I'll be trying to update it every friday! Please read and review! Thanks!


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